The Ending, and Beginning

2009 is ending soon... in 4 days. Come to think of it, this year moved quite fast. :) Perhaps because when you are busy, you don't realise time flies.

So, updates...



After weeks of practising hard and memorising scores, we ended up having...


The best carolling experience so far. :) Look at the smiles. Beaming shouts of joy!

Beautiful children singing beautiful songs with beautiful voices. Awesome.

That's Christmas. Celebration of a Son's birth, so great and mighty; trumpeted on rooftops and chimneys! Happy Birthday Jesus!

Which leads to...

New Year 2010! And another year of awesome happenings to look forward to!

Can't wait, can't wait!! XD

Unknown Messages

Language is one important means of communication, especially for expression purposes. Language can be verbal in speech or non-verbal as portrayed by body language. Both words and actions give great impact to people, especially those whom we communicate with.

Certain people are known to speak in bushes, where we as listeners can only perceive the messages between the lines.

Some others prefer direct presentation of messages; no twisted vines, just straight to the point.

Another few acknowledge the importance of manner in speech, where expressions are thought of before speech is being made.

Unknown messages are everywhere. It is up to us as listeners (or speakers) to think properly before grasping the message, not just assume that it is how we think it would be. Also not to forget, the big and small implications it brings.

Silent Night..

Christmas sure is in the air... With carols ringing in the shops and malls, we cannot run away from the fact that the year is coming to an end, besides celebrating Jesus' birth at Christmas! Speaking of which, lots to do before the year ends..

The nights would have been like silent, if not for the loud singing of the 'Silent Night' song. The sense of self-keeping comes back, where one feels all are so quiet no matter how noisy the surrounding is.

I'm back in the company of young saints, lovely and lively. The fact that I was once like them, and now no longer the same; it brings back good memories.. that we were once young and had the chance to live our lives as such. Life today is so different, no more as silent as before. There is always a ball rolling, no matter how bumpy or holey the road may be. It won't stop, till life stops itself.

I dropped again. Got one fire ignited but extinguished another. It's so blank to be in the midst of everything. A good sleep didn't help much either. The news. Crashes everything.

All the more, the voice says "Don't be silent, get up! Get up and move!!" Should I?

December

As the dates increase, here comes another month. If you had checked my planner, this is the busiest month - till bookings had to be made beforehand - the stress of being busy.

December, the Christmas month. This year there's more of it. Perhaps due to the surrounding that makes up the Christmas-sy mood.. Joy to the world~

Come to think of it, a friend introduced a new song: Do You Hear What I Hear. Nice. I like.

So what's been happening previously? (I'll do it in ringkasan style)
1) Going around the street of Kuching looking for tourists. XD And end up the BEST record, 5 persons in 4 hours! (Wheeee~) and the worst record... haha, ONE in 3 hours. =.= So much for the kilometres of walking. But it was fun? Hmm... yeah, the breeze, the sun, the laughter. [Shall we do it again? :P]

2) Assignments...ooh. This is the "fun" part, redoing an assignment you had previously finished. Aiyah the microsoft word lo... Blame it on them. Well, also my fault la. Hence, (sigh) but over liao. :D Done. Forgotten.

3) Work. Aiyer, this one. Freaky. It just comes 'boom' from the sky, and there you have it in front of you. No wonder shoulders are aching much lately.

And upcoming...
1) Finals. Whoa, quite near. :S

2) Carolling. Hmm, this one.. :)

3) Christmas!! Because the best part after that is... REST!! (Me love Christmas - 'cause Jesus came to save the world!)

December will be a fast month, don't ask me why. It's just so. Till then, welcome home friends from abroad!

Going against it

When you meet with some sort of situation where you have to go against your moral, your own belief, you sometimes hope that those involved will stand next to you to help make the decision. Should you go against your moral just for the sake of saving another person, which benefits yourself at the same time... or should you just let it be since that was how it was in the first place and should be?

I held on. I couldn't do it though my hands reacted the other way round. No one was there, and even if there was, it was of no help either. Decision-making, how weak one becomes when facing it.

Update

Camp just finished last Friday. I guess the committee was rather proud of it, the fact that all happened as planned. :) Animating the camp was okay I suppose. Slept none the first night, as the ambiance was new, but the second day tire everyone out, me included. Nothing much to comment on as of now, just a couple of outstanding leaders and some minor glitches to look into for future camps.

Got back from camp, and went back half hour after that because some bags were not loaded into the bus? Funny. Made the trip back up and down again, realised that kolo mee at 10 mile was RM1.20 only for kosong.

Couldn't remember what happened that night. Haha.

Class the next day was fine. Whatever happened to Starbucks and free coffee? Other than class, got the presentation script done (somewhat) and the rest of the Saturday went as how it would normally go.

Sunday. Supposed to sleep after coming home from Mass and breakfast, but strained to get the script done. The presentation was in the afternoon, according to a friend/team mate it was terrible. Result for being spontaneous. But what I think is that everyone tried their best?

Some things are better left unsaid.

Spreading

I just noticed how fast news spread. And how fast creepy crawly things compete with them.. I don't want it to spread anymore. It makes you scratch and tear it open.

Imposing pain to heal; that's psychological problem.

How great it is to have everything smooth.

Unending Weeks

After the big bang of new movie 2012; of which I'm quite curious on its graphics, I start to think that these busy weeks of mine would end soon. (Ya right, in my dreams.)

It just felt as if I was busy last week.. and this week I'm even more busy with even more things? Now how did that multiply.

Sometimes I question if my decisions are ever right. I end up doing more than I should, but the tiny voice inside says it's for the good of all? Oh gosh. 24 hours, please lengthen.

Kosong semuanya

Sudah bertahun lamanya tidak menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Entah hilang ke mana perasaan tersebut setelah dua tahun yang lalu menulis esei yang panjangnya lima muka surat dalam masa sejam setengah. Kini kukembali mencungkil bakat yang kian terpendam, penggunaan kosa kata yang 'berbunga' kata mentorku dahulu.

Hari berganti hari, hatiku semakin kosong rasanya. Soalan menampar diriku, apakah gangguan mental punca masalah? Kata orang, dunia akan tamat tidak lama lagi. Ya, tahun ini akan berakhir dalam sebulan dua, tetapi dunia? Siapakah yang boleh pastikan hari dan waktunya. Semestinya bukan saya.

Seorang kawan pernah memberitahuku, "Aku akan berdiri di sampingmu pada masa yang sukar dan sedih - jika kamu perlukan aku." Namun kelibatnya tidak kelihatan apabila aku mula bertanya, apakah kamu sudi mendengar dan memegang janji rahsiaku ini. Tidak. Itu hanyalah janji-janji kosong. Terlalu naif bagiku untuk mempercayai kata-kata manismu yang hanya akan kamu buihkan. Kenyataan melanda apabila kamu bergerak pantas dari pandanganku dengan alasan yang hanya mampu digunakan padaku. Aku lalai mempercayaimu. Kini hatiku kosong, menjadi sepi mendengar keluhan nadi. Kosong semuanya, hanya kedengaran darah mengalir perlahan.

Ya, dunia akan berakhir suatu hari nanti. Biarlah hari tersebut menjadi kenyataan, sudah ku jemu menanti.

The Doorknob

Talk about being scared of something really funny. Redness.

Once upon a time, there was a door. This door was a wooden one, and had a hole in the place of the doorknob, supposingly. The eye played tricks and I saw no hole - but a great nice unique, out of the world kind of doorknob. Interesting! It looked something like this.

Nothing suspicious, as it was dark at night. Hence my hand swung pass it.. and it breathed into my hands! For the worse nightmare, I screamed la!

And my friend jumped out of his skin.

It was actually a Golden Retriever, or something like that. The big dog species. Only after I screamed did it bark and showed its teeth.

My heart died pumping oxygen to my brain. Thank God for handrails, else I would have dived into the longkang immediately. And thank God my friend did not pass out else I couldn't get home that night. Thank God nothing happened except for just increased heartbeats.

An unforgettable experience, for my friend yes. For me.. I'll forget about it soon enough. Haha!

So the next time you see a doorknob, look carefully. It might be a snake head instead.

Pandemic?

Yet again, another season of sneezing and choking before sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if I've got the Influenza. Kept falling into it lately. Twice in 3 months? My old record was once a year.

Down to meds again, with side effects of drowsy-ness, cranky-ness and lazyness. Forgive me if I snap at you. Uncontrollable neurons.

Wish it is not study period, but it is. Sadly.

Random

Flying across my mind now is the urge to write. But somehow there's nothing flying with that urge on what to write. Hence, it's rather blank.

Let's see what's random.

I'm rather irritated with the trendy penstache played in facebook where you have to take a picture of yourself pouting with a pen between your nose and lips and post online after which you tag your friends. I think it's..a nothing-else-better-to-do online thing. We should spend more time reading on something useful instead.

---

The newspapers lately kept showing people getting robbed, injured, killed. And the latest this morning was the 12-year-old boy who got stung by "some insects", of which are bees and he died after his family failed to bring him immediately to medical attention. I wonder what's with the world today, where pain and hurt are overwhelming the supposedly 'increased income for better living'.. of which more smiles should be seen on the streets, and more sick people cured?

---

Sitting for exams was never my liking, what more to say with limited facilities and restricted usage of proper materials. It made me feel as if I were back in the exam hall sitting for SPM. For that whole day, I wondered if that exam was necessary after all. It just killed more brain cells.

---

Friends are getting very far when you try to get near them. What happened to 'friends forever', 'best-est best friend' and 'I'll always be there for you'? It's not about me, but I wonder if friendship really lasts.

---

Everyone seems to be living for the sake of money, and living to earn as muuch as they can. I wonder if they realise money can't be brought to wherever they are going after they die? What's life, if everything is about money?

---

None of the music/movie players can work now... It just killed my mood to watch Little Nyonya. Good series, check it out.

---

Till end of this year, the world will be quiet and more eyes will be opened. Hopefully next year will be a slowdown. Or..maybe not.

---

I am tired of writing. I should resume with my 7.30pm sleep again tonight. Thank you for spending time reading! :)

I doubt if these gave you any meaning, but they do, in fact.

ko taeu

Kai ngit, you jit kai pen jiu chim ngai kong boi. Ho lo.. ngai zho pen jiu jiu le ge king boi, kong teu an kiuk sim. Em ti he ngai chi ka anyong hin han he ge met to ngai anyong. Kin ha zho to ngai an.. oi ten shiu tapi you em ti boi chok em chok. Jia to ngin ka an to lui. Ngai you moi gia sia at hi loi, ten ha you ngin shong to.

Kong shong kong lok, han he kuan gia sa ta son ji ka eh se chin. Ngai mo lit. Ngai chin he mo lit hie kuan nge.. Piong hie. Ngai piong hie.

Calling for you

Have you ever had the experience where you called someone and that person never seem to answer your phone call or greeting? I think I have, not that I can remember who though.

There was once someone told me, "I tried calling you for so many times but you never seem to pick up the phone." And I just replied, "Sorry, I wasn't there with the phone I suppose." Not that I could help it, the phone was in the office! And I have odd hours in there. :)

My point here is that whenever someone call for us, we should try our best to respond with simplest gesture. It feels similar when others call for us and we do not respond.. the 'unwanted' feeling exists.

So let's prevent that negative feeling yea, by simply responding with a yes, no, or just silent language where applicable.

rof nyleve wohc

Once upon a time there was a girl who was born on the eve of the next day. She was born with bright colours and enlightening eyes that it made her parents feel...so bonded and close to her that they leaned on her dearly!! So here comes... eVELYN@eve@lyn@missCHOW.

This girl has nice eyes but she's always deprived of sleep hence the closed eyes during the day...

"Sleepy lar.... faster liao..." (smiles)

She loves to talk... so she puts on this look whenever she's on the talkative mode.

I tell you ar, my hair's the latest one you know! It covers my pimples right here! *points*

As you have noticed those plates pushed aside, this friend also loves to eat! Man, she can appreciate food.... (And never get fat! Though she has a shirt that says "I'm fat! Really?" Well, you're not.)

"Ooooh...food...yummy.."

When you bring her for lunch with good food as such:

She will immediately say:

"I want!!!"

And being a fan of handbags and fashion, she loves to shop and put on nice things whenever she goes out.

"You, buy me that bag!"

"Look! I've got a new watch!" (Notice her bracelet and necklace too? *winks*)

Not forgetting, when she's down and out...

"Talk to the hand, people... I'm tired.." (but can still smile)

But knowing that in her journey of life this far she has met great friends, she found God through a fellowship of children similar to herself..and she can be herself just like the rest of them...

She cannot help but find freedom to live her life as God has planned for her after God said to her "I love you!"... so she appreciates her life more than before, even in the washroom. XD

And so, dear Evelyn, a very happy and blessed 21st BirthDAY!! Now that you're legal, BE GOOD ok! Here's your birthday cake!

Looks familiar?
I'll poke in the candles soon. 2 big, 1 small.

Oh ya, one more! Did you count the smiles?? Haha! :D

ps: Photos courtesy of cath and pls no stealing of photos without permission. This post is dedicated to a good friend and sister-in-Christ.

Priorities

Nothing much to talk about lately. Routine's been mostly similar and year-end is coming soon. Despite the excitement of Christmas and the grand celebration of the birth of that special someone (ooh! can't wait!), we've still got to wait for it to come. =.=

So, priorities. Ah...one difficult term to practise. Sometimes I wish there's a reminder to beep in front of me and tell me what's my priority at that moment. :D The ones with neon lights would do great.

Juggle juggle juggling... hope the balls won't fall so soon.

Facing It

Lately I have to admit...in Malaysian terms..A lot of people die lar...

*bows head*

Sigh.

Two days ago my grandaunty passed away. She was 78 years old, second in a siblinghood of 8 with my grandma as the first. At first it didn't really sink in, as grandma actually called the office for my dad? Sounds fishy when you hear a phone call from home. My first assumption was that the house got broken into, or she got cheated by some cheeky salesperson, or that something went wrong with some part of the house and needed help. At least it didn't occur to me that she had gotten hurt, else she wouldn't have called.

But it was just a call to inform that her sister passed on and she had to visit her and that someone's there to pick her up. I breathed in relief she was okay. Could not imagine how I would react if something were to happen to her.

So yea, one more left this world. She was sick for some time, and had tiny glitches in the family with my grandma too but all those belong to the past. It won't do grandma any good to hold on to those anger and unhealthy feelings. After all, what can you do to a person who is already dead except forgive and pray for eternal happiness when one's own time comes?

Grandma seemed fine as I talked to her about the past. She was in tears no doubt, being the oldest and seeing a younger sister leave first.. (In her view, the older ones should be the ones to leave first, but 3 younger siblings left already before her.) But she's taking it positive I suppose. One thing I know she's waiting for her turn.. And well I'm not quite ready for that.

But all the same, we have to face death one day. And before that day, we should live life with happiness and peace - no feelings of revenge and regret for they only cause more harm than good. Easier said than done, but one key to success: develop virtues of love, patience and endurance. Optimism. :)

I've had my times of fighting between good and bad of myself. Perhaps one day I'll share. Till then, (smile) love, be patient and endure all words. :)

Demand demanded demanded-ed?

The week passed by with this very special word: Demand. Oh how microeconomics drilled into us the very basic terms supply and demand. Not to forget monopoly and oligopoly. :) Man I thought those were games at first. Remember this guy?

Oh I miss those days.

The week went well pretty much I suppose. I was nowhere else but in office, at home and in college. And of course, on the roads of Kuching. There were good news, and so also were there not-so-good news. But it's fine. Balance, as a friend termed it.

As I reflected on my previous week, I realise we seem to live in demand of others. Why so, you may ask. Take for example, a father wants his son to be involved with his surroundings. From there freedom is given to the son to go out with friends, have fun, make mistakes and come back for money to pay up the mistakes etc.. What I meant by the son living in demand of the father is that he is to get himself out of the house and mix around. That's equilibrium supply he's giving to his dad. But once the son mixes with the wrong type of friends where gambling, drinking and smoking are priorities, he's giving his dad a great leap in surplus. Hence we hear of the usual 'You're grounded' from the father to lower the ceiling price and get down back in the "safe-equal" zone.

I suppose that teaches us to weigh ourselves; are we living to a person's demand or are we just trying to be ourselves. It's complicated when you think of it from the surface, but take time to wonder how it is to live within demand of oneself. That's freedom of life.

Everyone has the right to live, for that is why we were born into this world.

The Silver Lining

Ever had the experience where you get hit so badly by the strong wind (just as how Kuching is down with heavy rain lately - due to the 'ending' strong wind from Sumatera), and that you get flown away, or if not you are clinging unto something really desperately.

But with every dark cloud, there is a silver lining.

Notice the "ends" of the cloud? Just like how there is a horizon when you look out into the sea.

And from these, we know that no matter how violent the wind blows, and no matter how fierce the waves are, there will always be something to hope for in the end. It's just the matter of wanting to hope for the better, and see the best; or hope for the worse, and witness the worst.

I just got hit by the "ends" of the neighboring typhoon and I fell down really badly. But I'm holding on still, to the best I could - so that when the wind passes, I will stand up again and smile at the blue sky above me.

My Wish

Sometimes I wish you'll just stop talking.
Sometimes I wish you'll continue speaking.
Sometimes it's just the wrong timing that you talk.
Sometimes it's just the wrong word you speak.

Sometimes I keep what you said to me.
Sometimes I lie as though you never spoke.
Sometimes the greatest speech you make never was the best.
Sometimes the words you said were never met.

Sometimes I just wish you would think twice to understand
Sometimes I just wish you will not look at it from the front
Sometimes I just wish you would be a friend as you said
Sometimes I wish.. perhaps it's just me.

It's all back to me.

I Stand

The look that I yearn

The smile that I long

The laughter that I seek

All lies which turned bleak

The times of trouble

The times of pain

The times of sorrow

All now become plain

The moments of truth

The glitters of joy

The mountains of gladness

All never seem to start again

I'm calling you

I'm begging you

I'm trusting you the least I could

And I will stand, I will stand

I will stand

And strong I will stand up to be

And all I hope for

is that you will stand with me

Just this once.

Rest-more-less

With the fact that fever cooked up yesterday and extinguished my fire, I fell into a more or less "rest-more" mode. All I wanted to do was sleep. Sounds good for a sick person no?

Well yeah, I slept. And (phone call!) woke up, and slept and (biological clock rang - time's up!) woke up and... So much for rest that didn't seem like rest at all. It made me worse.

Fever went down a little and I remained like a lifeless soul. Terrible feeling. To say I were to rest, I ended up watching tv and reading about Oligopoly? How restless my day was. The night was spent with no benefit that I woke up at midnight just to feel my body heating up again. There went rest in heat.

Today's rather fine, fever left early this morning which I had to be grateful for. And now I'm so called 'quaratined' at home that things got more restless. Sigh.

I want ice-cream sundae.

ILI

I caught it. Out of the blue, green, orange whatever weather... flu. It's so annoying. The fact that there are things to get done urgently and I'm down with this annoying water streaming down my nose like some free-flowing stream.. Disgusting it may sound, but it's terribly annoying when you're busy. Bear with me if you're to continue reading.

I am not to dwell in my flu. Don't worry. I'll just talk alongside it. :D

ILI. Well it does concern me, with the "What if" questions.. I'm sure you know what kind of questions I'm referring to. Had to bear the headache for waking up middle of the nights to breathe. Dad said it sounded like I turned into a goldfish. ('Cause he said I had to gasp for air every now and then with sadly blocked nose) Oh yea, similar. Not that I can help it.

Picture courtesy of google search.

So it's down to day two. Let's see who wins the fight. White blood cells, you there?

Anyway, it you've got something similar, do practise proper hygiene and if need be, do consult a doctor to make sure you are well enough not to spread to others. I'll do my part, while you do yours and stay away from me - just this once. :)

Squeeze Me

When I used to say "excuse me" to get through a crowd or just to be polite when walking pass in front of someone, my friend would tease me by saying "squeeze me, squeeze me" and thereafter I would be given a great big squeeze. Sounds so innocent, ain't it?

"Excuse me". What an important word. Without this said gently, there will never be a sense of politeness. But that's not just it. What if you turn down your tone a little when saying it; it will sound as if you are clarifying an issue. And if you increase your pitching a bit higher, it will sound as if you are defending yourself against an issue - feeling upset over a remark or statement.

Lately do you notice there are less "excuse me's" being said. And even if there are some, most are said harshly, in a hurry, or just with the I-don't-want-to-say-it tone. Can't imagine how it would be if this 'squeeze me' word extincts..

Will you let it slip away just like that? Let's preserve it; for we humans always prefer a polite "Excuse me" when someone walks in front of you while you were talking, and not just 'fly pass' without saying a word. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, aye?

The Week

Ah I'm back... :)

After a whole long week of ....rush and all sorts of feelings and experiences, time to get back to reality and sit here and type again. So what's with the week?

Sunday - Tuesday: Mid-Term review of the Pastoral Focus on the Family by Archdiocese of Kuching. Had the priviledge of sharing my life story to 300 delegates from 11 parishes including the Shepherd and all other priests.. wow. :)

But with the car cooking my patience on the second day and causing lots of inconveniences and panic and worries, ah.... I almost died of I-don't-know-what-to-do... yet things just unfolded fine on its own at its own time.

Wed - "Break time" before the 'second half' of the week. Supposingly to get rest and take a break off the 3-day conference and prepare for the Leadership Formation camp (LFC) but... as usual, last minute-ness and craziness ate me up. Battery almost ran flat.

Thurs morning - supposingly get all shopping done for camp the day before but something else crept up and somehow things had to be done alone and unknown. So shopping carried forward and was "supposed" to go up Mt Singai in the morning but the car meragam again and caused more casualties. I got to rest no doubt, (well I needed it in the first place) but then things at camp happened and there were miscommunication and...no one's cooking for us? Thank God for an angel who just 'happened' to be at camp who's taking cooking lessons so he cooked for us with a team of half-pail knowledge assistants. :D

Camp dragged for 48 hours and we got back Kuching on Sat evening, of which we (as if not tired enough) went for makan and minum at Open Air and then back to office to chit chat and then later at night went to McD for a farewell drink with the "camp chef" before he leaves for studies.

Sunday - How time flies. It's a week gone. Supposed to get the assignment done, yet nothing's ready. Quiz on Monday yet I was flat at home, recharging. Mum insisted to go back to her dad's place so had to tag along and spent half morning, lunch and half afternoon there... Pond harvesting. :) Swimming in the mud for the guys = cool~ Got back home and dozed off for 15 minutes before going out again. I almost died. My legs ached madly, going up and down the mountain twice. I salute those guys going up and down 4-5 times, each time carrying stuff up, eg. diesel 5 gallon x 3 sets x 6 persons. Thank you guys. :) I'm sure you will be rewarded with muscles soon.

Sunday night - dinner. And there we laughed like crazy people who've never laughed before. Now with 4 crazy animators, we have a new generation of crazy student leaders. :S

Monday - morning I couldn't get my brain to work. Dad drove me home to sleep after mass and breakfast and I only touched on supply and demand 3 hours before the quiz. Brain froze at the start of it, but got it done in the end. Hope all's fine.

And so... the week's over. I've got office work piling up, camp work to be finished and some minors here and there to get settled. Life's just the beginning of something new. When one thing's done, something new and better creeps up. Till then, goodnight!

Perfection

Heard of perfectionists? I'm sure you've encountered one or two or even a few whom you can think of right now. :)

Perfectionists. Who are they?

Someone once told me, don't be too perfect in doing things... lest when things run away from your perfection, you will end up in despair. Well, quite true.

In terms of my own religious belief, perfection only suits God. To be a perfectionist means you are trying to be God. Well that struck me a while, for I am a person who wants to see things running in order with no mistakes etc. Somehow it seems not so right now. :)

Let's just let things run on its on. We plan yes, but we leave our planning to the One who's going to carry it out.


P/S: Mid-Term Review just ended. LFC camp coming up. Today's Wednesday and I'm running on almost-flat battery. So much for a holiday break.

The Fountain

I dreamt of this.

A fountain.

If we really study the fountain, we will notice that water spurts out from the bottom going against gravity. Once reaching its limits, the water showers down with the awesome flowery dance. Amazing.

Imagine how much effort it takes to create that force to push the water up and let it 'bloom' from above. If we are to be the person pushing from below, I would expect us to sweat more than the water flowing upwards. Although it takes great trouble to make the water go in an opposing direction, the result of those huffing and puffing is simply breath-taking.

Many times we need to put in effort to do things to get things moving. Sometimes the effort we put in does not seem to make the thing move.. not even an inch or two. And we get discouraged. But as the saying "A little makes a lot" or "Sedikit-sedikit lama-lama jadi bukit", it does make a difference in the result. And mind you, you won't regret pouring in those sweat and blood - it's worth it.

So to make fountains up there, we've got to work from the start - right down there. :)

Temporary

I am now in my office tearing stamps. About 500 of them. As I tore them one by one, I realised I won't be doing it much longer - I am just a temporary staff here.

Things in life are also just temporary. This life of ours - though we avoid talking about it - is also temporary. We come, and we leave. All the things in life are temporary in the sense that we cannot have them with us when we leave one day.

Simple example, when one moves from an old house to a new house for whatever reason, it is a change in life. The house that we had to move from, is just a temporary shelter. We can buy the biggest house with the highest ceiling (not discouraging you from getting big houses, get them if you can afford :D) but those big houses, large pieces of land and mountains of gold we unfortunately use them just for now. Surely we can't bring them to our graves, and even if we could, someone else would take them away.

Leaving a "temporary" item or being or whatever is it, requires adaptation to a new scene. The changes that we undergo are never easy, anyone could say that. I'm sure you have experienced leaving something or someone and struggle in making the adjustments too, at least once. :)

Since nothing concrete is permanent, let's be open to changes and movement.

Loosen up

It feels rather funny not to do anything. Well some people can just live without working and be free all the time, while others must get their feet moving lest they die of boredom. I think I'm more to the latter.

Lately life has been pretty much loosened up, I would say. Not so much of rushing as compared to earlier months this year. Perhaps just a 'transition' period to cool down a little. :) So not used to it...

Someone, teach me to sit still and do nothing.. I suppose I didn't learn that when I was younger.

So if your life is hectic and busy, find time to sit still and watch the clouds go by. And if you're always too free for everything, find things to do that will benefit yourself and others. :)

The Last Goodbye

People always say, "Treat others well today, for fear you will not be able to see them again tomorrow." How life is a mystery to all - it comes and goes, but unknown to our human senses when it will be taken away.

I used to not be too attached to "departing feelings"; even when my maternal grandmother left when I was about 12 I knew nothing about death. To me she just went to sleep in that special box of which those who sleep in it will never wake up again. I didn't shed a tear during her funeral, not realising the reason to cry.

After a friend's death about three years ago, I felt it. Sensing that loss in my heart, though we were not close friends in school. Her funeral was well attended by schoolmates, all the front pews full of uniformed students. During the goodbye speech by a good friend of hers, I was touched till tears trickled down. I knew deep inside she had crossed the line and entered a place we humans cannot enter, with joy. But I just couldn't accept reality that I would never see her again, nor give her that huge hug she loved so much. So young, 16 and she's left. God loved her more.

Coming back to reality, attending many funerals after hers was like waves hitting me one after another. Every time I hear of someone's death - especially those of my friend's be it grandparent or parent, it stirs that sorrow within. What would it be if I were to be that friend, facing the death of someone I love - to say the last goodbye and not hearing any response in return? How would I tell myself that he/she has gone back to the Father and is safe from all pain and harm? How would I tell those beside me how great he/she has lived his/her life and that we should live our lives better as he/she wished? How am I going to say goodbye with a smile on my face when all that is in me turn their backs and mourn endlessly?

We die. Anytime. I've been anxiously waiting, not to sit in the front pews any one of these days. I do not wish to do reading for the last time for anyone of them. I do not wish to say the last goodbye so soon. But who am I to say when I will sit there and when I will not. Who am I to wish for prolonged living, when everything is about pain and suffering. Who am I to decide when to die, or when to see others die. Such selfish being of mine.

I just pray and hope that in this short period we have on earth, life and death be according to Your will. May you comfort us in times of sorrow, and lead us to comfort others when their sorrow arises. Let it be done, as you will it to be.

Dissatisfaction

Many times we complain. We grumble when things don't happen the way we want them to, or that they just don't satisfy us. We humans love to be loved, to be satisfied. But most times we get dissatisfied. What actually satisfies us?

Money?

Fame?

Love?

Friends?

Food?

Sleep?

Pain?

Laughter?

I don't know about you, but I personally try not to be dissatisfied when things just walk the opposite direction to mine. It is hard yes, especially when you live such a good life as compared to those out there homeless, food-less, and what more to say internet-less and have no knowledge about computers at all.

I find myself working so hard to get things satisfied for others. Why? I have no answer for that. Perhaps it's just by nature that it happens that way in my flow of blood. Or maybe that's how I was brought up - a developmental effect?

Despite going through all that, I'm still not satisfied on my own part. What actually satisfies me, that's a question I'm longing for an answer. Without knowing what satisfies you, is like living a life without any goals to achieve. A dead living.

So what satisfies you?

words and phrases

This is one of the posts where I simply can't put into words what's in my head. So I'll just throw out those words and phrases, you join them up if you can and wish to know what's it all about.

over and over again

anything more than

road we travel

tired

dreams

cold

seeing truth

confused

journey

all love, no hatred

beginning of the end

hungry

piles of sand

unjust

knowledge and skills

unworthy

run

jump

the end?

Blah. :S

KAYD Weekend

Kuching Archdiocesan Youth Day (KAYD) just ended. :) Well, the weekend passed but I'm sure the memories and fire are still bright and burning in the hearts of servants and participants alike.

Having to juggle three ministries (two hectic ones to be exact) was enough to keep me on my feet. I sort of enjoyed being able to serve to my limits and give my all despite the moments of 'argh' here and 'gasp' there when things did not go as I expected. Perhaps they were meant to be as such, else there's no excitement. :D

Seeing youths from everywhere coming together as One, amazing. How God's love draws the hearts of many, young and old, far and near.. awesome, simply wonderful. Too magnificent for words; only actions can speak for His blessings.

The next one will be in 2011. Hoping to see the participants for KAYD09 serving in KAYD11. Let us build God's kingdom for all generations! Praise the Lord! :)

Ngai em ti

Em ti cho mai.. li kia ngit tiam tiam em han. Kon to chiu chiu ngin hae oi chim ngai cho tung si. Sang ha ngai siong, hae ngai ket khiang, han hae gia sa mo pet sa ho chim.

Pun den sa to he tet jau tit kiok, mana boi ti met to ngai em han si. Se loi se hi, you cho lia cho ga. Hmm. Tet hae tet la.. em ti la. Chi to an em on lok cho an to. Kiang pet sa kong? Ahh. :S

Keu liao la. Sia ket tho ten ha ngai pun thuk teu hin.

Over

Got it over with. Ah. :)

What's done is done, no time machine can turn back the time. I suppose what we can do is learn from mistakes and do better next time. Oh, do you know that sometimes we often overlook the mistakes we've made, pretending they're not there... and we repeat those mistakes never realising how they affect your own self or others.

Somehow I think mistakes are meant to be made at times, for without them we can never learn and grow to be better homo sapiens. :)

So, what's next?

Let's stand up again! :D


The eye says: Punctuation marks tell a lot about someone's feelings in their writings. Check it out. :)

Hotel-swim-shed-run-black.

The 4 of us walked up the stairs, gazing at the sparkles on all four walls. It was heaven-like, a perfect vacation. Just the right timing after all the chaos life brought itself upon. No baggages, just us and the holiday.

A dip in the pool, how cooling. Fountains of fresh mountain water, bringing life to those who swim in it. All 4 of us went in, bringing the best of our burden hoping all would be washed away. Then a channel appeared. The sky turned dark. The waters we were in started rushing out and we found ourselves being rushed out too, with the water!

We ended in the sea. Nothing but the horizon. A wave crushed on us, and we landed on the shore. Surprisingly we were all dry, not a single part of us was drenched. Next thing was, we all got up and walked into a shed that appeared few moments later.

Once we entered the shed, the door closed behind us and started shaking. It felt as if an earthquake was happening, but we found the shed moving away from its grounds, taking us with it. The door flung open all of a sudden, and a dog-wolf-tiger creature sprang up out of nowhere taking a bite of my jeans. I had the shock of my life and started kicking my leg hoping to get it off, to no avail it took a strong grip. It was all so panicky and suddenly a friend said "God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob!" and the creature let loose. The shed was then still and the creature jumped out from the door.

A few moments later a crocodile-bull-something crawled behind another friend and almost snapped her legs when this friend called out once more "God of Esau, ...(something something I forgot)" and that creature immediately closed its jaws and retreated.

Running out of the shed, two of us girls hunted for the hotel. We ran though the woods, crossed the streams and ran till we saw a row of shops. We ran to our car (goodness knows how the car ended itself there) and drove to some place.

Upon arrival, she parked and forgot to put the parking coupon, of which I reminded her. But she ran out of coupons and we looked up and saw a coupon stand and bought the RM4.20 set. But once we got the book, it was all used coupons. There were poked holes on different dates and time, and we asked for a new set. The lady had no other sets but just one piece, so we took the one piece and had it placed on the dashboard.

Rushing to the place (which I assumed to be the hotel to get out belongings), we once again turned back to grab our laptops that were left in the car. I went back to get them, and then the event became blur..

When the image was clearer, both us girls ran under the rain with our laptops and when the rain got heavier, we stopped at a nearby stall. I carelessly left my friend's laptop (she held mine) there and only remembered when we reached the hotel which had no more sparkles on its walls. The moment she knew about it, she scolded me so badly that I shivered and all went black.

Back home

Got home two days ago after a whole long week of sessions with about 5 hours sleep at night to sustain the long hours during the day. Slept for 24 hours yesterday with 3 hours awake in between, broke my old record of 11 hours straight haha.

Anyway, the trip to Thailand was tiring but fun in a way that we slept so little yet could stay awake the whole day without complaints. The first day itself already was hectic due to the fact that we almost missed our flight and heard our names being called over the microphone while in the washroom! The run-for-your-plane was funny since we raced a European lady whose name was called too.

Upon reaching there, my friend's luggage got spoilt so we had a long wait for baggage claims but it was worth the wait. 350 baht. We were patiently waited by Kit, our old ASC friend together with his student Bank who thankfully could speak English-Thai so we had a good chat in the car while Kit drove at 180km/hr. Even though the session had already started, we took time and had dinner by the sea on the Floating Island enjoying life. Haha.

The sessions were great, in a way we learnt lots of new songs and actions and new words.. Not forgetting new friends and reuniting with old ASC friends - Reynard and Tui and Kit, Asian Team. The cultural night was funny yet fun, in which we from Malaysia performed bamboo dance which stirred the crowd to join us. My first time actually performing it but it was great. All went well. Malaysia won the AIDS quiz (so kiasu) and we greatly honoured all the countries for setting up wonderful exhibition booths (especially Laos who won the exhibition corner).

After a whole long week, goodbyes were exchanged; no tears though - as it was in the wee hours of the morning that most of the other countries left for the airport. The 3 of us went to Bangkok and visited Bank and Kit's school - so advanced! O.O My jaws practically dropped and my eyes couldn't stop staring in wonder.

We departed at the Assumption Cathedral as UCAN office boy came to pick us up. Sad to leave but life has to move on. We should not hold on to people, but to the memories we had. At UCAN we did interviews and it was rather funny to sit on such high chair and speaking in front of the camera. But we were paid that evening with a trip to the night market where shopping was the best for us. I bought less as my parents mistakenly calculated and gave me RM70 (700 baht) ONLY while my other friends shopped till I had to help carry their goods. All the same, it was great. They even went for Thai massage. I didn't. :P

Now that I'm back home, things had to be straightened out. College classes starting next week and camp preparations must be done for next month. Reports for this Thai trip to be out asap and I'm back to my busy life. Haha. Wish the trip was a week longer. :)

Pictures to be posted up soon, perhaps on Bangkok city and food. I won't bore you with the session pictures. But if you want to see them, check out facebook. :D

A Barber in NY

There was once a very good barber in New York, who gave FREE haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts.

One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but the barber replied, 'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The florist was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Malaysian software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.' The Malaysian software engineer was very happy and left. The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there.............


Can you guess?



Come on, think like a Malaysian....






Have you got the answer ........... ?????





come on .............





guess




guess




guess...................................................









a dozen Malaysians waiting for free haircuts! XP

Catholic Horse

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race! Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest as the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.

As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first. By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money.

By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites!'

-Eab


A story to remind us not to depend on gambling to earn a living. Work hard and God will bless your needs with great abundance.

Disclaimer: Not to offend anyone or any non-Catholic believers. This is just a story told with a lesson to learn.

Sriracha

Sa wa dee ka...

In Sriracha now. The previous blog was written before I left, so it was scheduled to be posted today. Thailand is famous for its food and fruits. Here are some of them:

Stalls by the sea selling fresh lok-lok seafood and dishes.

Sotong the size bigger than my friend's palm.

Papaya salad - som tam. RM8.

Pig's neck - kho mu yang. RM 6 only.

Tom yam shrimp - tom yam kung. RM15.

Thai's best fish - krapung. RM20.

That's for now. Need to get back to dinner at 7pm (it's 8pm in Malaysia). Hungry and tired, lacking sleep. One more week to go. :)

Away

While you are reading this, I am away for a South East Asia gathering somewhere outside Malaysia. It's a hectic August for me, with my schedule fully packed and more to come, finding empty slots in my planner.

Being away from home without guardians outside Malaysia is a first-time for me. I am no traveller, and my survival skills can be rated top from below. But yea, leaving it all in God's hands. :)

So.. how are you doing back home? :)

I'll try to find time to share my experience during my absence, and hopefully you will learn something too!

Sharing is caring, indirectly gaining.

H1N1

Everyone seems to be talking about it. Death toll rises daily, number of those infected is also increasing rapidly. Precationary steps must be taken to hopefully prevent the continuing spread of the deadly virus attacking the lungs.

Many schools were closed in Malaysia. Increasing number of higher learning institutions can be seen, and more and more people are getting worried? for once.

Travelling is a no-no. Going to public crowded areas is not encouraged. Masks are recommended. Perhaps getting a flu shot should be considered.

Why the sudden chaos anyway? How and why did it happen or spread in the very first place? I shiver to think of someone I know, or someone close to me lying in bed at the hospital quarantined. Such cold atmosphere, feeling all so lonely and rejected. I feel sorry for those whose family members were affected, those who left before us because of this pandemic.

What is the reason behind all these tears and sorrow, grief and mourning, worries and fears?

I might be exposing myself to such danger, but I pray all will be fine. Little do I want those around me to experience such downturn in their lives. All the same, always be careful I would say. Know your limits and take care of yourself, for no one else can do better than you yourself.

I suppose it's time to look at ourselves and think for others for once; for before you know it, I might be here today but gone tomorrow. At least live the best for today, now that the world is turning in such direction.

Have no regrets. :)

Weekend Work

The weekend was spent with an inter-campus camp. The camp was actually running well on Sat until I got phone calls from the office and under unavoidable circumstances, I had to rush down from camp site to do the work. Skipped lunch, worked full hours straight and rushed. Pressured, watched, supervised; rushed back to camp site after the 5 hour strain. Had taize prayers that night and went straight to bed after that. Never in my life had I been so tired. Even ASC was not that bad. This time it felt like I ran the whole ASC for 1 whole month.

Sunday. Finished camp. Came down rushed to office. It was 3pm and I stayed there till 1130pm. You may ask "Is that necessary?" I can't seem to find the right explanation for that. To say it is, I'm half-hearted. To say it's not, then what's with all the rush?

This morning, Monday - got it all done. But there was a story behind. I was at the tip of finishing everything, when the computer jammed. It just lagged and stopped responding. I thought perhaps I worked a bit too fast so waited for the lag to stop. But it didn't, instead it remained frozen. Switched it off, and it restarted. But it stopped at the loading page. And never moved for the next half an hour. It was 1030am and I had to get things done by 11am.

I was losing myself then. Didn't know what to do, was so worried about the work which I saved inside the computer only, not externally. And I went to dad and he came over and saw to things. Switched it off. Waited. He prayed over the computer, and it restarted. And all went well after that. No documents missing. The power of prayer.

Perhaps you reading this might not feel the real stress in handling such situations at the very last minute. Perhaps this does not apply to you. Perhaps this might even be a funny joke to you.

But all I can say is; despite the hecticness, the pressure, everything, God makes sure you are fit for it. He won't give you something you can't handle; he just wants you to take the extra step to do it for him. In my case, sacrifice. At the very last minute, this morning say - I was so tired from lacking of sleep after camp and burning midnight oil in the office, yet he kept me fit enough to just finish everything, and this afternoon I rested since all's done. He plans your path, and as long as you are willing to submit to him and face the waves that come alongside it, all plans will unfold nicely.

That's my weekend story. For camp story, perhaps another day. A busy week ahead, but I'll make time, hopefully. :)

Why do we shout when in anger?

A spiritual story by Unknown.

A saint who was visiting river to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked, 'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, then one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,' asked the saint.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said, 'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. They may end up in divorce courts, for instance.'

Upcoming

The document's out. Preparations must be done. Thought it was not right to do it that way, so we did it another way yet now it was consented to do the former. ...what a waste.

Anyway, upcoming events!

Ever wondered why sometimes we get soooo excited about a certain event coming up very very soon, and when the event date comes nearer by just a week, you tend to lose those anxiety and excitement? I suppose that happens when you have too much to look forward to, till you forget which one to be more excited about. And it's happening.

It seems rather a tasteless feeling that things and people fail you one after another. As people would always say, give them another chance. Yea. Another chance. And another, and another, and another... so that you'll be given chances too, when it hits back on you one day. Ah... the counter-attack.

All the same, :) I suppose smiling is still top on my list. It gets very annoying that you know the other side of being on one side of yourself. Doubt if you get what I mean, but it's so hard to think of the fuller half cup at times. Sometimes I wish to just pour everything away and start refilling once more. It frusts when you try to go against your own human self, knowing better of the spiritual self. Ahh..

With all these upcoming events, I've been thinking whether I'm up for it. Whether I'm really into it now, as I awaited its arrival weeks and months ago. I don't know why all these were planned, but somehow I contradict myself lately. Perhaps leaving it up to God would be the best decision, yet at the same time to do some personal thinking as well. :S

GiveMeOnePureAndHolyPassion - song of my day. thoughts of my heart. cries of my soul.

Coincidence?

Today was first day of exam. I suppose things were ok except the fact that there were some annoying signs from the working parts.

All the same, on the way home today I stopped by the cake house to grab a long piece of raisin bread for grandma. At the same time, while leaving the place, was it just coincidence or God's plan; that I met a long-time-no-see good friend of mine who hardly came home for holidays and we hardly met ever since we last did. It's been a year, and my has she changed~!

Apparently, all I did was scream her name in the car and dad stopped in the middle of the road and wound down the window and I just screamed her name, and she screamed mine. It was in the hot sun, in the middle of the road, alongside busy coffee shops and next to the hectic roadside traffic. Imagine the people watching us.

We hugged and hugged, and just couldn't stop laughing at such 'coincidence'. And we made future plans.

So, my point for the day; was it just coincidence? Or was it planned?

For myself personally, many things happening in our life are planned. Think about it. Ever wondered why at times when we needed something we lacked, and the next moment, someone else comes with it? Or when we're rushing to a certain place and the traffic happens to be green all the way? Perhaps you would say, "Mine's red all the way!" Well, would you think in a way that if you rushed through the red lights, would it cause your life, or worse the lives of others?

Whether it is a belief or not, things do happen for a reason. Nothing is coincident unless you refuse to believe it is planned. So is it coincidence for you to read this post of mine? Or is it coincidence that we just happen to know each other as friends?

Moments of Life

In life, there are moments when you miss someone so much that you feel like you could only fulfill your dreams by holding that person tight in your arms.

When the door of happiness is closed, another opens; but many of us continue only to look at the closed door. As a result, we often fail to see the new door with its new opportunities.

Do not trust appearances; they are often false. Do not interest yourself only in wealth; it may disappear.

Seek someone who communicates with you in laughter, for laughter can turn a sad day into a joyful one.

Dream whatever you desire to dream. Go wherever you wish. Seek whatever you desire.

Because life is unique and is dependent on how you shape it.

The lucky ones do not always have the best. Often, they seek simply the best of what they see on their journey.

Your future happiness may well depend on your ability to leave the past behind.

Live life to its fullest, and be positive always … in spite of difficult times.

To those who have left a mark in your life.

And to those who made you laugh when you really needed somebody ...

To those who show you encouragement when you are down …

To your friends, and those who just passed by.

To those who look up to you for encouragement.

To those who need you at their side.

Never lose an opportunity to bring sunshine into the life of another. A few encouraging words could make a huge difference in someone’s life.

Life is more than just breathing. Real living is made up of moments that take your breath away.

Life is beautiful, especially with good friends.

May every moment of your life be filled with joy. :)

Venturing Out

Ever felt at times you wish to try something new, something ..out of the ordinary? But contradicting that feeling is the thought of face, or the what would people think about me mindset which usually stops us from going out and trying new things.

Actually... one should just put them all aside for once, and feel the ultimate freedom. :) It's rather nice, once in a while.

Break free.

Today I gave in to curling my hair. *gasps* It sounded so-really-not-me but the fun of running away without the goody-two shoes for once, is unforgettable. *big smile* Despite that, it seems fine now as I type this. My hair's back to normal. :D

So. Your turn. :) Put a foot outside your circle and experience the difference altogether in that short period of time. It might be as simple as curling your straight hair or as complex as making a life decision... :) easy or hard, dare yourself for the challenges that come your way through those steps you take, and embrace the fun time you'll bound to have!

Random

Blog has been rather quiet... because of the fact that everything's been just about deadlines and rushing rushing here and there.

So what's been going on?

*breathes*

Most of my days were spent in front of the computer screen, be it MS Word or Explorer or Media Player. So you can guess what I've been up to.

The days countdown to the big trip are reducing. Somehow problems start creeping out and miscommunications occur. Disappointments were there, but second chances were given.

Involvements have got to reduce for the time being, but it seems that the more I let go, the more new things come about and knock on my door. And these are no joke; all so challenging. I suppose that's how life moves ..in circles. When you're done with one, you're up for another. You can either be going to face a new problem, or are facing one now, or just finished settling your problem. You can never run away from them..for they are meant to teach you something new each time. It's how you carry yourself when you face these scenarios that make a great difference on how 'stressful' you will live.

Exam's coming soon. It's been 2 months just like that. After the big Asian Session & Council (ASC) in St Lukas, and IYCS leaving us KYCS great memories, I sort of miss it. The rush. Thanks to this, I got to know more new friends, and old friends became even closer. Thank you Lord~ So, exam. What to say, I'm admitting when the going gets tough, I tend to slack.... *screams in desperation* Assignment to submit in few days, and yeah. *smile* (Oh no~)

Yesterday was spent at the ecumenical centre, whole day for the spiritual growth seminar conducted by Holy Cross Ministry. I would say I spent 14 hours out of home, and 10 hours on the laptop. I'm glad I survived the long hours with the tiny strain in my head.

So... that's about it. There are more events coming up. More BIG events..all of them. Hmm, may the good Lord continue to guide us in our daily living. :)

New YOUTH BLOG!

Calling ALL youths!

Check this OUT!

Our very own NEW YOUTH BLOG with news covering from all parishes, and events happening all over the Archdiocese of Kuching!

Click on it and spread the word!

:)

Maybe

Maybe.. we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe.. it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe.. the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe.. you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe.. the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe.. the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe.. happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe.. you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe.. there are moments in life when you miss someone - a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child - so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours..

Maybe.. you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

"Life is only traveled ONCE,

Today’s MOMENT becomes TOMORROW’s MEMORY.

Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself…."

Stop to Look

As I drove this afternoon and there was this mini roundabout I passed. I saw two cars eventually coming and yet I didn't brake. My right leg was on the brake pedal but I just didn't step on it. Instead I made the car slow down and the guy behind got really angry that you-know-what-drivers-do-when-they're-angry. Would just consider myself blessed so as not to be crashed and not to get the car crashed with my mum and cousins crashed too.

After that I drove rather quietly, hearing the words of advice from mum of which she panicked etc.. I thought to myself, I questioned myself in fact; why didn't I stop??

I suppose it was a tiring day, or perhaps the moody weather and the cooling air-con in the car, or maybe the smooth flow of the drive preventing me from breaking the motion.. I don't know. I was confused myself.

Now come to think of it. I should have stopped. The consequences were far more worse than I thought, but I overlooked them.

Lately I have been so caught up with things; involvements, priorities, passion, dedication.. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm busy with. And with all these things crowding around me, confusing me, I tend to overlook a lot of things. Seemed to have failed in everything.

But today's experience was one to remind to stop for a moment and do a check on myself. What IS my priority? What IS the thing I should be busy-ing with?

Perhaps getting things organised would do me good, to keep me on the go again. Or perhaps a cup of tea just to sit and list them all down would grant me freedom from confusion. And the commitment to do that - that's the first step to take. Never easy.

Call On Jesus

A beautiful piece by Nicole C. Mullen.

Call on Jesus sung by Darlene Zschech.

Verse 1:
I'm so very ordinary, nothing special on my own.
Oh, I have never walked on water,
And I have never calmed a storm.
Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark

Chorus:
But when I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call
La la la la la, la la la la la

Verse 2:
Weary brother, broken daughter,
widowed, widowed lover, you're not alone
If you're tired and scared of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on

Chorus:
When you call on Jesus,
All things are possible
You can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When you call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you--

Bridge:
Call Him in the mornin', in the afternoon time
Late in the evenin' He'll be there
When your heart is broken,
And you feel discouraged,
You can just remember that He said He'll be there

Chorus (2x):
When I call on Jesus,
All things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles' and soar
When I call on Jesus,
Mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me

(back to top first time, 2nd time finish with "when I call")

La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la-a-a


Lately with all the hard-hit news coming to me one after another, shocking the mind out of me, this song truly inpires me to keep on moving.. For without God by my side, without Jesus being my light, I can't go on.

Friends can be there for you, but nothing compares to the shelter and warmth he alone can provide. But friends are signs that God cares, so thank you Lord for these people; and thank You too - you know who you are. :)

Who Am I

Who am I
to be the one called
to be the one picked
to be the one for it
to be the one.

Who am I
to be the one from little town of Bethlehem
to be the one not looked at
to be the one unknown
to be the one.

Who am I
to be the one seen from the pits
to be the one no other can win
to be the one that always splits
to be the one.

Who am I
to be the one to say what's right and what's wrong
to be the one qualified for the throne
to be the one uplifted from the hole
to be the one.

Who am I
to be the one child of God
to be the one worthy of His love
to be the one deserving His blessings
to be the one.. me.
to be the one.

Who am I, Lord?

Shocking News!

I. am. so. shocked. So. shocked. So. shocked.

I just got a phone call. 1 minute ago.

It is worst than the death of my puppy. How to face this one???!!

:O

I. can't. close. my. mouth.

S.h.o.c.k.e.d. So so shocked.

Somebody. My heart stopped beating. Almost hyperventilated.

...

Oh God.

Xiao Di Di

Today is my xiao di di's birthday. He's now 18, legal. O.o

I met this person in January. When I entered first day of class, he was there already. At first I thought he was a friend of some other friends of mine, or went into the wrong class, or something.. but he was actually a new student in my class. XP Hence the handshakes and introduction was made.

Throughout these 6 months studying together, I realized that there IS such thing as unending sarcasm and that one can be so pessimist towards life yet live to see it crumble? But there is also the good side of him that he reveals only to the known and when needed. Hmm. All the same, this person finally came into my class as the person whom I can speak English to, for the rest are mostly Mandarin speakers. :P

Despite all the "pain" this person gave me, and is still giving me, it is indeed an honor to be his classmate. To have someone who scores 19/20 for Bio test and still owes us KFC, and still owes me a lot of stories on 'retrenchment' and 'stories-I'll-never-understand', God has really been gracious to let me meet and know you! :)

Oh, and since you are 18, practise wisdom ya. :) Hope my leaves have helped you in one way or another. Thank you for being my friend and brother; for being there when in times of need. May you have a blessed birthday and many great returns for a great future filled with hope~!

Work & Life Stress?

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."
God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Author unknown

Shoulder Support

There will be times when we encounter experiences of being alone, confused, rejected.. and terribly in need of someone.

There are other times when the worse got better of us and we feel the world falling down on us as we split ourselves unknowingly, piece by piece.

For those times, have we ever wondered; what actually was happening to us? Why were we acting that way?

That's normal human reaction to a stimulus - or an event that impacts us emotionally or mentally - something that we can never understand why, for in the beginning we were created this way. And it is good, as a matter of fact. To be able to realise the need to release; to realise the feeling of oneself in a certain situation.

But in the midst of all these 'down' moments, there is a shoulder support somewhere next to us. Whether we realise it or not, it is there. And it is always ready, waiting for us to give the SOS signal - despite the uncertain thoughts we have of that support.

So at times of desperation, do not hesitate to look for a shoulder for support. :) They are there, just put pride aside and call out for once.

My Child

My child
I saw it all.

I saw the light
fading
I saw the gift
reducing
I saw the star
glowing fainter
I saw it, I saw it all.

My child
Why the stutter
why the agenda of closing
why the eyes of ground
I saw it, I saw it all.

My child
Look up
Look at the beautiful skies
Look at the birds go by
Look at the clouds
Look at me.
Look at me..

Recalling

Now is the season of reunion. Near and far, friends come back to visit those who are stuck in hometown. And would you look at them!

It's been only about 2 years that separation occurred. Recalling what happened approximately during 5 years ago, indeed time and place change things around. Not to say it is bad, but it's all part of growing up and building of personality. :) Somehow, glad to see the good changes.

Still, good old memories should remain. We should never forget our base. :)

That Piece in front

What's life without putting on the other piece?
The other piece that everyone has, that everyone embraces
That false piece
A shame.

What's life if the piece is changed?
A better life?
Happier, merrier and joyful surroundings?
The piece that kills it all
A murderer.

What's life when there's none of that piece at all?
The piece that everyone longs so much for
The piece that grants eternal freedom
indeed
The piece that hides all from naked eyes
The piece that no one can see
yet
What's life when all's torn away
when all's left exposed
when all's
out.

What would it be
for you.

Kept

With the current status, it would be best to stay put and keep safe.

Knowing what's outside yet staying in for the day, a new beginning.

A perspective.