I woke up this morning quite reluctantly. It's another Monday, and just like any other Mondays, my routine has always been the same. But the ALARM came and I had to drag myself out of bed.
And once I sat up, I realised I can't turn right. Something terribly went wrong. I just couldn't turn to look on my right side. :'(
I've a long day in that small room today. Hopefully I can turn it soon. It hurts to be static.
Sigh.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
When the clock strikes 12
When the clock strikes 12
and all under you rise from below
a cloud covered the moon
and all seems dark and gloom
When the clock strikes 12
and all above you shadowed the land
a ripple from the lake breaks the silence
and all it takes is a bit more patience
Oh how the time clicks away
not waiting for any other play
for the ball must keep on rolling
and the player, running
Oh how the rain falls as the game is being played
the thunder and lightning not counting their days
and all things under them wet - shivering
but when the clock strikes 12
and all things seem bad
there is still one thing that keeps the ball rolling
and that is the player running,
and his spirit burning.
When the clock strikes 12...
and all under you rise from below
a cloud covered the moon
and all seems dark and gloom
When the clock strikes 12
and all above you shadowed the land
a ripple from the lake breaks the silence
and all it takes is a bit more patience
Oh how the time clicks away
not waiting for any other play
for the ball must keep on rolling
and the player, running
Oh how the rain falls as the game is being played
the thunder and lightning not counting their days
and all things under them wet - shivering
but when the clock strikes 12
and all things seem bad
there is still one thing that keeps the ball rolling
and that is the player running,
and his spirit burning.
When the clock strikes 12...
Friday, March 27, 2009
A true Bible salesman
Just for laughs. Credit to the writer.
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the Church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents.
"What is this?"the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," said the minister who didn't want to appear to be agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f -forsh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered..
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-wouldy-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-BibleF-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-youj-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here andr-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the Church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents.
"What is this?"the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," said the minister who didn't want to appear to be agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f -forsh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered..
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-wouldy-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this B-B-B-B-BibleF-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-youj-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here andr-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
When she leaves
Lately we've been distant from each other. Day in day out, there were times where I didn't catch a glimpse of her even, though we are just together. I've always had this thought: What would happen when she leaves?
Maybe for her to leave, would be a good thing for her. Free at last. No more suffering to bear. No more medication to take. No more naggings to bear.. Just as she wished, almost every day.
But for me, how would it be? I could not answer this question, a question that first buried in my mind few years back. It was a critical moment for the both of us, for me especially. I knew I couldn't accept the fact that she will leave if she had left those days.
Even now, I still can't. Or, was I lying to myself. Actually I can, just that I don't want to? I don't want her to leave. Half of my self is with her. I cannot bear the loss.. if she were to leave now. But why do I think for my own self only, when she's suffering at the other end?
When will I ever learn to face it.. face the fact that she is leaving..soon.
Maybe for her to leave, would be a good thing for her. Free at last. No more suffering to bear. No more medication to take. No more naggings to bear.. Just as she wished, almost every day.
But for me, how would it be? I could not answer this question, a question that first buried in my mind few years back. It was a critical moment for the both of us, for me especially. I knew I couldn't accept the fact that she will leave if she had left those days.
Even now, I still can't. Or, was I lying to myself. Actually I can, just that I don't want to? I don't want her to leave. Half of my self is with her. I cannot bear the loss.. if she were to leave now. But why do I think for my own self only, when she's suffering at the other end?
When will I ever learn to face it.. face the fact that she is leaving..soon.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Mixed
There are so many things to blog about yet so many things to do yet at times I just don't feel like doing anything, and don't feel like blogging also.. O.o Hmm.. wonder which nerve went wrong.
Today's Monday again. Waow how time zooms pass.. just felt as if yesterday was the last week's Sunday. The Kopi AM. A friend of mine kept commenting on me talking about nothing but ASC all the time. He even wondered if I dream about it. I suppose I did...haha. That pulled his leg a little.
Becoming the Asst Coordinator for such a great event, waow. I just don't know what to say except, "Hey we're gona learn from each other from this event, and you're gona teach me to coordinate while I help the coordinator." That's what being a leader is all about, no? To lead others to lead you. :)
Yesterday was the 'crazy morning' with the other servants. I didn't know why I was invited, and though certain condition prevented me from participating, I broke the nature's rule and joined in! Hmm...and bore the consequences after that haha. But it was ..a really great morning. I've never ran so much since I can't remember when. I've not laughed at people and being laughed at for ...I don't know how long ago. Despite the 'condition', I played all the games, ran through the fields, and simply let go.
The joy of thinking you're actually not able to achieve something because of something, and YET ABLE to achieve it, was a priceless one. Mind over matter. If you think you can, you can. It's the matter of whether you want or not. Simple. :) And all these being brought back to mind in just one morning.
With all that happened this whole week, it was a total mix for me. Sometimes I just don't know how to react to things, but I remembered from 'Facing the Giants'; When we win, we praise Him. When we lose, we also praise Him. And that was enough to keep me going depite what happened or how my day went.
And for this post, praise Him. :))
Today's Monday again. Waow how time zooms pass.. just felt as if yesterday was the last week's Sunday. The Kopi AM. A friend of mine kept commenting on me talking about nothing but ASC all the time. He even wondered if I dream about it. I suppose I did...haha. That pulled his leg a little.
Becoming the Asst Coordinator for such a great event, waow. I just don't know what to say except, "Hey we're gona learn from each other from this event, and you're gona teach me to coordinate while I help the coordinator." That's what being a leader is all about, no? To lead others to lead you. :)
Yesterday was the 'crazy morning' with the other servants. I didn't know why I was invited, and though certain condition prevented me from participating, I broke the nature's rule and joined in! Hmm...and bore the consequences after that haha. But it was ..a really great morning. I've never ran so much since I can't remember when. I've not laughed at people and being laughed at for ...I don't know how long ago. Despite the 'condition', I played all the games, ran through the fields, and simply let go.
The joy of thinking you're actually not able to achieve something because of something, and YET ABLE to achieve it, was a priceless one. Mind over matter. If you think you can, you can. It's the matter of whether you want or not. Simple. :) And all these being brought back to mind in just one morning.
With all that happened this whole week, it was a total mix for me. Sometimes I just don't know how to react to things, but I remembered from 'Facing the Giants'; When we win, we praise Him. When we lose, we also praise Him. And that was enough to keep me going depite what happened or how my day went.
And for this post, praise Him. :))
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Respect
You taught me respect. And what did you do to me.
You taught me everything I need to know to live, but what was those lessons about when you did the same.
You taught me not to hate anyone, anything. But you just said it. Not to anything or anybody else. And where did all the respect go to.
I still respect you. I still remember you. I still have to live with you.
Please respect me. If that's the least you can do. Just a little respect is all I ask.
You taught me everything I need to know to live, but what was those lessons about when you did the same.
You taught me not to hate anyone, anything. But you just said it. Not to anything or anybody else. And where did all the respect go to.
I still respect you. I still remember you. I still have to live with you.
Please respect me. If that's the least you can do. Just a little respect is all I ask.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
To Serian
Yesterday was Legion of Mary junior legionaries Lenten Retreat to Serian. Conducted the group Quiz activity and some 'time-wasting' songs. Supposingly we were to head to Ranchan Pool in the afternoon...but then RAIN came...and changed the agenda.
It was very nice to hear all children of God, singing. It's so..sweet.. Perhaps not as good as those famous singers, but you can't trade their voices for anything else.. All those young people, our future leaders. ..thank You God for voices!
As we were to leave in the evening, the rain didn't stop.. Mum and I were in the rain running to and fro the bus a few times. My FIRST experience going really under the pouring water. It was so cooling, awesome and fun!
But not anymore, because I'm soooo cold now... =.=
So much for fun. Got to bear the consequence.. *beams*
It was very nice to hear all children of God, singing. It's so..sweet.. Perhaps not as good as those famous singers, but you can't trade their voices for anything else.. All those young people, our future leaders. ..thank You God for voices!
As we were to leave in the evening, the rain didn't stop.. Mum and I were in the rain running to and fro the bus a few times. My FIRST experience going really under the pouring water. It was so cooling, awesome and fun!
But not anymore, because I'm soooo cold now... =.=
So much for fun. Got to bear the consequence.. *beams*
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Animators Formation
I was away for the weekend for this YCS Animators/Facilitators Training at St Lukas 10th mile. This training only started on Fri evening and ended on Sunday afternoon. Now I just got back after being the first person to reach there on Fri, and 2nd last person to leave home. Haha. Half participant half organiser.
This training was conducted by Bro John D Cruz, an Indian religious man from Penang. He's really good, I tell you. He catches every second of your time and does not leave you alone even to look at your friend next to you.
Training was conducted for about 50 of us via small group discussions of mixed-age. He made sure we never stuck ourselves to the friends we know only, instead he jumbles us up every 10 minutes, or at every new question asked which requires group sharing or discussion. This was for living skills.
I myself learnt more about the life skills, and how to remember to apply it in everything I do and not just during his sessions. it was a flexible traning with lots of laughter, and I tell you.. you just can't stop laughing. Only when you run out of breath, you try to stop..but it comes back the next moment you catch your breath. So you can imagine the laughing gas he let out on us.
Based on the YCS methodology SEE-JUDGE-ACT, many issues affecting the young people nowadays were discussed in own circle of friends of which we belong to. This was done to ease the ACT part where actions will be taken in future. Indeed the world is changing, and there are so many new things affecting the future; but I'm afraid if there will be a future..
Bro John is a good speaker. Gifted in evangelising to the young, and not so young ones as well. The total 15 hours we had together, was an unforgettable one. And for me, this training has been one of the best I ever had. I've benefited from it, and I'm very sure everyone else had.
Let the actions speak for themselves.
This training was conducted by Bro John D Cruz, an Indian religious man from Penang. He's really good, I tell you. He catches every second of your time and does not leave you alone even to look at your friend next to you.
Training was conducted for about 50 of us via small group discussions of mixed-age. He made sure we never stuck ourselves to the friends we know only, instead he jumbles us up every 10 minutes, or at every new question asked which requires group sharing or discussion. This was for living skills.
I myself learnt more about the life skills, and how to remember to apply it in everything I do and not just during his sessions. it was a flexible traning with lots of laughter, and I tell you.. you just can't stop laughing. Only when you run out of breath, you try to stop..but it comes back the next moment you catch your breath. So you can imagine the laughing gas he let out on us.
Based on the YCS methodology SEE-JUDGE-ACT, many issues affecting the young people nowadays were discussed in own circle of friends of which we belong to. This was done to ease the ACT part where actions will be taken in future. Indeed the world is changing, and there are so many new things affecting the future; but I'm afraid if there will be a future..
Bro John is a good speaker. Gifted in evangelising to the young, and not so young ones as well. The total 15 hours we had together, was an unforgettable one. And for me, this training has been one of the best I ever had. I've benefited from it, and I'm very sure everyone else had.
Let the actions speak for themselves.
Friday, March 13, 2009
What if..
What would happen if time had stopped, and the world ended just there.
What would happen if that day never came.
What would happen if I've never known you.
What would happen if we never talked.
What would happen if ..
What if...
What would happen if that day never came.
What would happen if I've never known you.
What would happen if we never talked.
What would happen if ..
What if...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Undecided
Just as I thought things are getting better, something else popped out. It's not causing more problem or whatsoever, but it's giving me that 50-50 feeling again.
I want to be a part of The Team, but I cannot neglect my other commitments. But The Team needs me, yet at the same time I think they can survive without me..until they find someone else to take my place.
I don't know what to do now. I hinted a 'YES' but deep inside I longed for a 'NO'.. Wisdom is all I ask for, at this moment of time.
I want to be a part of The Team, but I cannot neglect my other commitments. But The Team needs me, yet at the same time I think they can survive without me..until they find someone else to take my place.
I don't know what to do now. I hinted a 'YES' but deep inside I longed for a 'NO'.. Wisdom is all I ask for, at this moment of time.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Unending Blessings
After a long week (more like long weeks) of pressure here and there, things showed a bit more improvement this last weekend.
The evening was spent at the Gallery, where the sale was to be held. Table plan was set, works assigned and drove off to send friend home, then caught in a jam, and bought more things.. Got back to the gallery to find one problem of not having enough tables. Finally solved it with more borrowing..and decorations started. All of us there had no dinner and worked from 7pm till 1030pm getting everything ready.
It was the KYCS Kopi AM. I didn't know how I came up with the 'name' but it sounded nice now that everyone's used to it. Preparations were done since weeks ago, and not everything was moving smoothly.
On Sat itself I was rather in a hustle-bustle situation with a lot of things to do at the same time and at different places. The papers came, and lots of packing had to be done. The computer went missing which terrified me for a while until I called and found out it was taken for some other use...without my knowledge. The morning was spent on packing.
Afternoon was on 'shopping' for the Sun Kopi AM. Went with another friend to print brochures, had a lot of bargaining, (which succeeded!) and hunted for some particular stuff which we found in the end, gladly. Was supposed to be home at 330pm, but failed to do so. Hence went straight for meeting at 4pm and later on drove people here and there. Mass at 6pm, then cousin was lost...ah just so many things to do, while in a state where I could not do it.
The evening was spent at the Gallery, where the sale was to be held. Table plan was set, works assigned and drove off to send friend home, then caught in a jam, and bought more things.. Got back to the gallery to find one problem of not having enough tables. Finally solved it with more borrowing..and decorations started. All of us there had no dinner and worked from 7pm till 1030pm getting everything ready.
I got home after 11, prepared checklist and everything else, then bathed and slept after midnight.
The next morning dad called me up. I was too tired that I forgot to set the alarm the night before...arrived a little before 6. Members were there starting to cook already. Early.
Overall, I drove around Kuching that morning hunting for backup stuff, and taking food items = 10 times to and fro. Everything went well. There were enough food, just less people came maybe due to the heavy drizzle. But all in all, it was a blessing. I could not have done it without continuous support from everyone. There was no stall suffering loss, everyone earned.
I am indeed so happy to see everyone working together to make this simple project happen. Now I have more confidence to do other projects, for I know I will have people working them out. Above all, praise God for everything, and everyone. May this be the stepping stone to raise more funds for the upcoming IYCS ASC. Thank you all!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Learning to swim
I don't know how to swim. I'm learning how to swim. On my own.
When I brought myself to see the coach, he was kind enough to offer another coach to me, one of similar gender, and is not too new for coaching too. This new coach.. taught me how to swim. Yes she did, like this:
Me: Hey coach, how do you make yourself float longer?
Coach (C): Well, you must know how to breathe, of course. Get your lungs working. You should know that breathing is the most important thing to do right?
Me: ... (no) ..So okay, I need to breathe.. Now how do I keep a steady speed?
C: Get all your muscles working lah! You don't know every part of your body needs to work together is it? Tell them what to do. You are the mind. You have the authority.
Me: ..(you're not helping me...) well okay. Thanks.
I can't swim, even after those lessons. The first coach I went to, came back to me and asked my progress. I just told him I'm learning on my own.
But I almost drowned every time. So I'm now learning it the hard way; to learn to swim, is to either get yourself drowned, or start flapping your hands and feet.
And I still drown, many times.
When I brought myself to see the coach, he was kind enough to offer another coach to me, one of similar gender, and is not too new for coaching too. This new coach.. taught me how to swim. Yes she did, like this:
Me: Hey coach, how do you make yourself float longer?
Coach (C): Well, you must know how to breathe, of course. Get your lungs working. You should know that breathing is the most important thing to do right?
Me: ... (no) ..So okay, I need to breathe.. Now how do I keep a steady speed?
C: Get all your muscles working lah! You don't know every part of your body needs to work together is it? Tell them what to do. You are the mind. You have the authority.
Me: ..(you're not helping me...) well okay. Thanks.
I can't swim, even after those lessons. The first coach I went to, came back to me and asked my progress. I just told him I'm learning on my own.
But I almost drowned every time. So I'm now learning it the hard way; to learn to swim, is to either get yourself drowned, or start flapping your hands and feet.
And I still drown, many times.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Frustration
Some things cannot be changed. Some things are meant to undergo changes. Some are just there, for the sake of being there.
It stirs up frustration when you can't change the thing you want to change. And the fact that it can be changed, yet no changes were made..
Why can't I..
It stirs up frustration when you can't change the thing you want to change. And the fact that it can be changed, yet no changes were made..
Why can't I..
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Pending and pending
According to the title of my blog.. you can roughly guess what this post is going to be about.
Work.
There are so many still pending....... not from the office though. But those piled up when I concentrated on office work alone. Assignments especially. I was just telling another friend that how I wish work can finish by themselves when I sleep overnight. Which will never happen. Well, dreams MIGHT just come true.. hehe. Wish me best.
Another thing about this title on pending..is actually my friend staying in Pending. He's diagnosed with dengue fever and now admitted. It's rather sad to see him, strong as he always had been, to be down in bed and sick.. I really hope he gets well soon. Let's keep in prayers ya?
That's all for now. I need to switch gears for my pending assignments due tomorrow and next week. Wishing you a happy and blessed day!
Work.
There are so many still pending....... not from the office though. But those piled up when I concentrated on office work alone. Assignments especially. I was just telling another friend that how I wish work can finish by themselves when I sleep overnight. Which will never happen. Well, dreams MIGHT just come true.. hehe. Wish me best.
Another thing about this title on pending..is actually my friend staying in Pending. He's diagnosed with dengue fever and now admitted. It's rather sad to see him, strong as he always had been, to be down in bed and sick.. I really hope he gets well soon. Let's keep in prayers ya?
That's all for now. I need to switch gears for my pending assignments due tomorrow and next week. Wishing you a happy and blessed day!
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