Saying No

One of the most difficult words as a friend, to say No to another friend.

Being a Yes person burdens one down if time is not managed properly. As in the Communication's Drama Triangle; being the rescuer but end up as the victim. Victim of unable to complete own responsibilities and taking unto one's shoulders the problems and responsibilities of another. Not only do you not get enough rest, there is no time for yourself, your family, your other friends, free time even; to victims, true enough?

Sad as it is, it's true.

So, how to say No?

Prioritise. Know what is more important: the friendship or the "taking of advantage" by the friend? I've learnt my lesson and it takes time to say No, since the great empathy is there to keep the Yes going.

Try it once, and you'll enjoy saying No at your busiest times.

Mental not: To be logical and practise wisdom at all times.

Rebirth

The Holy Week entering Easter - a renewal of faith and commitment. I felt different this year.

Monday - Wednesday: Life was ...down the hill. It felt as if I was walking towards the place of crucifixion, being spat on, jeered, mocked.. I wondered if that was how Jesus felt. I felt the burden of the cross he carried.

Thursday: The evening of prayer and waiting.. I have never knelt so long before the Lord, yearning for his presence, for his grace and mercy. I have never felt so sorry before him.. putting myself in Judas' shoes. I was sinful.

Friday: What greater love than a man to lay down his life for another. It was a day of solemness, a day to reflect the perfect love portrayed.. and a day of which my dear puppy died being knocked down by a car.. Much despair and hopelessness.. silence engulfed me.

Saturday: Day of breaking free from all the lowliness, all the hopelessness. For Easter - the resurrection, a new life will begin. Easter Vigil that night was wonderful, a time spent with family celebrating the new light of Christ. What greater JOY to hope for than the one from God!

Sunday: The Coffee Morning sale, a big hit despite everyone lacking rest due to last minute errands and preparations. Learnt more about making things happen than saying things happen. Being childlike was the Lord's calling. The Lord indeed rose from the dead, that even death could never do him apart .. a miracle of rebirth, in me.

I died with Christ on Good Friday, and he lifted me up on his Resurrection Day - for I am his beloved, nothing can take that fact away. (Lev 12:26)

I pray for a new life in you too this Easter! He is RISEN! Alleluia! :)

The Pinch of Salt

As I prepared meals this week, I always hesitated when it comes to putting in that pinch of salt. Should it be one pinch? Or a little bit more than that pinch?

I realised life sometimes has that moment requiring us to put in an extra pinch of salt. It differs for each individual since we all eat different amount of salt.

Putting in that extra pinch at times require a lot of effort, till we end up questioning ourselves if it was worth all the hard work. The outcome might not appear immediately, but in the long term, it will. As long as you keep adding the extra pinch.

I was adding my pinch of salt to the dish I was preparing, and I doubted when putting it into the wok. I felt my heart nudging me to just put that much, and that was how much I put in. Sometimes we feel the nudge in ourselves to put more salt, or to cut down the salt input. Self intuition has always worked for me, so I listen.

I have no idea what I'm writing, but I know it takes a pinch of salt to make the dish taste nice. :)

Over Pastry and Chinese Tea

Picture - google search.

The week has been very hectic. Time was not on our side, and the ball never stopped rolling; it was nerve-wrecking.

As I sit here over cream puff and chinese tea, it feels nice to put life on hold for one moment. To spend time with beloved ones and just chill over laughter and smiles.

One more week before the big event. Let's pray all things go well, as God wills.

For I know the plans I have for you, plans that will not harm you but will prosper you and give you a future with hope. (Jer 29:11)

What next

With the recent theft case to kick start 2010, aside from turning a year older, it was rather ridiculous to get me down on my seat the whole time.

The case brought me so down that life felt some fear and injustice. What came next was nerve-wrecking, madness.

The thought of being kind was pushed, the heavy weight of responsibility crowned upon. Who else would have felt that would be next. Changes.

Life was not good, but it was never that bad. Optimism.. call on it and it will return to serve you. Hard as it is, one moment to cherish - one season to cheer.

The sun never fails to rise each new day, so does God never fail to love the sinner no matter how he hates the sin.

Looking Forward

After practically mourning for 7 days after the incident, life's heading a U-turn to get back to having things done again. It was tough, to look back at it and see what could have been done before it really happened. But no one could predict it happened there and then, so things happen for a reason. Just had to accept that.

Got replacements, tried a hang of it - not too bad, lots to learn. Confusing enough yet not as nerve-wrecking. Glad. Just realised I lost more things to those early 'Santas' than I thought.

A good start, to keep me up and about. Optimism, life's never better without it. And the past lurks back to haunt things down. The dislikes.

Everyone's doing great I suppose. What can I say, people change, time flies - but God never fails.

Lev 26:12 - I will be your God, and you will be my people.

Segulah Yahweh: God's own possession.

How perfect it feels to be loved. :)

Facing It

Lately I have to admit...in Malaysian terms..A lot of people die lar...

*bows head*

Sigh.

Two days ago my grandaunty passed away. She was 78 years old, second in a siblinghood of 8 with my grandma as the first. At first it didn't really sink in, as grandma actually called the office for my dad? Sounds fishy when you hear a phone call from home. My first assumption was that the house got broken into, or she got cheated by some cheeky salesperson, or that something went wrong with some part of the house and needed help. At least it didn't occur to me that she had gotten hurt, else she wouldn't have called.

But it was just a call to inform that her sister passed on and she had to visit her and that someone's there to pick her up. I breathed in relief she was okay. Could not imagine how I would react if something were to happen to her.

So yea, one more left this world. She was sick for some time, and had tiny glitches in the family with my grandma too but all those belong to the past. It won't do grandma any good to hold on to those anger and unhealthy feelings. After all, what can you do to a person who is already dead except forgive and pray for eternal happiness when one's own time comes?

Grandma seemed fine as I talked to her about the past. She was in tears no doubt, being the oldest and seeing a younger sister leave first.. (In her view, the older ones should be the ones to leave first, but 3 younger siblings left already before her.) But she's taking it positive I suppose. One thing I know she's waiting for her turn.. And well I'm not quite ready for that.

But all the same, we have to face death one day. And before that day, we should live life with happiness and peace - no feelings of revenge and regret for they only cause more harm than good. Easier said than done, but one key to success: develop virtues of love, patience and endurance. Optimism. :)

I've had my times of fighting between good and bad of myself. Perhaps one day I'll share. Till then, (smile) love, be patient and endure all words. :)

Demand demanded demanded-ed?

The week passed by with this very special word: Demand. Oh how microeconomics drilled into us the very basic terms supply and demand. Not to forget monopoly and oligopoly. :) Man I thought those were games at first. Remember this guy?

Oh I miss those days.

The week went well pretty much I suppose. I was nowhere else but in office, at home and in college. And of course, on the roads of Kuching. There were good news, and so also were there not-so-good news. But it's fine. Balance, as a friend termed it.

As I reflected on my previous week, I realise we seem to live in demand of others. Why so, you may ask. Take for example, a father wants his son to be involved with his surroundings. From there freedom is given to the son to go out with friends, have fun, make mistakes and come back for money to pay up the mistakes etc.. What I meant by the son living in demand of the father is that he is to get himself out of the house and mix around. That's equilibrium supply he's giving to his dad. But once the son mixes with the wrong type of friends where gambling, drinking and smoking are priorities, he's giving his dad a great leap in surplus. Hence we hear of the usual 'You're grounded' from the father to lower the ceiling price and get down back in the "safe-equal" zone.

I suppose that teaches us to weigh ourselves; are we living to a person's demand or are we just trying to be ourselves. It's complicated when you think of it from the surface, but take time to wonder how it is to live within demand of oneself. That's freedom of life.

Everyone has the right to live, for that is why we were born into this world.

The Silver Lining

Ever had the experience where you get hit so badly by the strong wind (just as how Kuching is down with heavy rain lately - due to the 'ending' strong wind from Sumatera), and that you get flown away, or if not you are clinging unto something really desperately.

But with every dark cloud, there is a silver lining.

Notice the "ends" of the cloud? Just like how there is a horizon when you look out into the sea.

And from these, we know that no matter how violent the wind blows, and no matter how fierce the waves are, there will always be something to hope for in the end. It's just the matter of wanting to hope for the better, and see the best; or hope for the worse, and witness the worst.

I just got hit by the "ends" of the neighboring typhoon and I fell down really badly. But I'm holding on still, to the best I could - so that when the wind passes, I will stand up again and smile at the blue sky above me.

The Fountain

I dreamt of this.

A fountain.

If we really study the fountain, we will notice that water spurts out from the bottom going against gravity. Once reaching its limits, the water showers down with the awesome flowery dance. Amazing.

Imagine how much effort it takes to create that force to push the water up and let it 'bloom' from above. If we are to be the person pushing from below, I would expect us to sweat more than the water flowing upwards. Although it takes great trouble to make the water go in an opposing direction, the result of those huffing and puffing is simply breath-taking.

Many times we need to put in effort to do things to get things moving. Sometimes the effort we put in does not seem to make the thing move.. not even an inch or two. And we get discouraged. But as the saying "A little makes a lot" or "Sedikit-sedikit lama-lama jadi bukit", it does make a difference in the result. And mind you, you won't regret pouring in those sweat and blood - it's worth it.

So to make fountains up there, we've got to work from the start - right down there. :)

Temporary

I am now in my office tearing stamps. About 500 of them. As I tore them one by one, I realised I won't be doing it much longer - I am just a temporary staff here.

Things in life are also just temporary. This life of ours - though we avoid talking about it - is also temporary. We come, and we leave. All the things in life are temporary in the sense that we cannot have them with us when we leave one day.

Simple example, when one moves from an old house to a new house for whatever reason, it is a change in life. The house that we had to move from, is just a temporary shelter. We can buy the biggest house with the highest ceiling (not discouraging you from getting big houses, get them if you can afford :D) but those big houses, large pieces of land and mountains of gold we unfortunately use them just for now. Surely we can't bring them to our graves, and even if we could, someone else would take them away.

Leaving a "temporary" item or being or whatever is it, requires adaptation to a new scene. The changes that we undergo are never easy, anyone could say that. I'm sure you have experienced leaving something or someone and struggle in making the adjustments too, at least once. :)

Since nothing concrete is permanent, let's be open to changes and movement.

Loosen up

It feels rather funny not to do anything. Well some people can just live without working and be free all the time, while others must get their feet moving lest they die of boredom. I think I'm more to the latter.

Lately life has been pretty much loosened up, I would say. Not so much of rushing as compared to earlier months this year. Perhaps just a 'transition' period to cool down a little. :) So not used to it...

Someone, teach me to sit still and do nothing.. I suppose I didn't learn that when I was younger.

So if your life is hectic and busy, find time to sit still and watch the clouds go by. And if you're always too free for everything, find things to do that will benefit yourself and others. :)

The Last Goodbye

People always say, "Treat others well today, for fear you will not be able to see them again tomorrow." How life is a mystery to all - it comes and goes, but unknown to our human senses when it will be taken away.

I used to not be too attached to "departing feelings"; even when my maternal grandmother left when I was about 12 I knew nothing about death. To me she just went to sleep in that special box of which those who sleep in it will never wake up again. I didn't shed a tear during her funeral, not realising the reason to cry.

After a friend's death about three years ago, I felt it. Sensing that loss in my heart, though we were not close friends in school. Her funeral was well attended by schoolmates, all the front pews full of uniformed students. During the goodbye speech by a good friend of hers, I was touched till tears trickled down. I knew deep inside she had crossed the line and entered a place we humans cannot enter, with joy. But I just couldn't accept reality that I would never see her again, nor give her that huge hug she loved so much. So young, 16 and she's left. God loved her more.

Coming back to reality, attending many funerals after hers was like waves hitting me one after another. Every time I hear of someone's death - especially those of my friend's be it grandparent or parent, it stirs that sorrow within. What would it be if I were to be that friend, facing the death of someone I love - to say the last goodbye and not hearing any response in return? How would I tell myself that he/she has gone back to the Father and is safe from all pain and harm? How would I tell those beside me how great he/she has lived his/her life and that we should live our lives better as he/she wished? How am I going to say goodbye with a smile on my face when all that is in me turn their backs and mourn endlessly?

We die. Anytime. I've been anxiously waiting, not to sit in the front pews any one of these days. I do not wish to do reading for the last time for anyone of them. I do not wish to say the last goodbye so soon. But who am I to say when I will sit there and when I will not. Who am I to wish for prolonged living, when everything is about pain and suffering. Who am I to decide when to die, or when to see others die. Such selfish being of mine.

I just pray and hope that in this short period we have on earth, life and death be according to Your will. May you comfort us in times of sorrow, and lead us to comfort others when their sorrow arises. Let it be done, as you will it to be.

Dissatisfaction

Many times we complain. We grumble when things don't happen the way we want them to, or that they just don't satisfy us. We humans love to be loved, to be satisfied. But most times we get dissatisfied. What actually satisfies us?

Money?

Fame?

Love?

Friends?

Food?

Sleep?

Pain?

Laughter?

I don't know about you, but I personally try not to be dissatisfied when things just walk the opposite direction to mine. It is hard yes, especially when you live such a good life as compared to those out there homeless, food-less, and what more to say internet-less and have no knowledge about computers at all.

I find myself working so hard to get things satisfied for others. Why? I have no answer for that. Perhaps it's just by nature that it happens that way in my flow of blood. Or maybe that's how I was brought up - a developmental effect?

Despite going through all that, I'm still not satisfied on my own part. What actually satisfies me, that's a question I'm longing for an answer. Without knowing what satisfies you, is like living a life without any goals to achieve. A dead living.

So what satisfies you?

Over

Got it over with. Ah. :)

What's done is done, no time machine can turn back the time. I suppose what we can do is learn from mistakes and do better next time. Oh, do you know that sometimes we often overlook the mistakes we've made, pretending they're not there... and we repeat those mistakes never realising how they affect your own self or others.

Somehow I think mistakes are meant to be made at times, for without them we can never learn and grow to be better homo sapiens. :)

So, what's next?

Let's stand up again! :D


The eye says: Punctuation marks tell a lot about someone's feelings in their writings. Check it out. :)

Catholic Horse

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race! Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest as the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race. Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.

As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first. By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money.

By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites!'

-Eab


A story to remind us not to depend on gambling to earn a living. Work hard and God will bless your needs with great abundance.

Disclaimer: Not to offend anyone or any non-Catholic believers. This is just a story told with a lesson to learn.

Why do we shout when in anger?

A spiritual story by Unknown.

A saint who was visiting river to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked, 'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, then one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,' asked the saint.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said, 'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return. They may end up in divorce courts, for instance.'

Coincidence?

Today was first day of exam. I suppose things were ok except the fact that there were some annoying signs from the working parts.

All the same, on the way home today I stopped by the cake house to grab a long piece of raisin bread for grandma. At the same time, while leaving the place, was it just coincidence or God's plan; that I met a long-time-no-see good friend of mine who hardly came home for holidays and we hardly met ever since we last did. It's been a year, and my has she changed~!

Apparently, all I did was scream her name in the car and dad stopped in the middle of the road and wound down the window and I just screamed her name, and she screamed mine. It was in the hot sun, in the middle of the road, alongside busy coffee shops and next to the hectic roadside traffic. Imagine the people watching us.

We hugged and hugged, and just couldn't stop laughing at such 'coincidence'. And we made future plans.

So, my point for the day; was it just coincidence? Or was it planned?

For myself personally, many things happening in our life are planned. Think about it. Ever wondered why at times when we needed something we lacked, and the next moment, someone else comes with it? Or when we're rushing to a certain place and the traffic happens to be green all the way? Perhaps you would say, "Mine's red all the way!" Well, would you think in a way that if you rushed through the red lights, would it cause your life, or worse the lives of others?

Whether it is a belief or not, things do happen for a reason. Nothing is coincident unless you refuse to believe it is planned. So is it coincidence for you to read this post of mine? Or is it coincidence that we just happen to know each other as friends?

Moments of Life

In life, there are moments when you miss someone so much that you feel like you could only fulfill your dreams by holding that person tight in your arms.

When the door of happiness is closed, another opens; but many of us continue only to look at the closed door. As a result, we often fail to see the new door with its new opportunities.

Do not trust appearances; they are often false. Do not interest yourself only in wealth; it may disappear.

Seek someone who communicates with you in laughter, for laughter can turn a sad day into a joyful one.

Dream whatever you desire to dream. Go wherever you wish. Seek whatever you desire.

Because life is unique and is dependent on how you shape it.

The lucky ones do not always have the best. Often, they seek simply the best of what they see on their journey.

Your future happiness may well depend on your ability to leave the past behind.

Live life to its fullest, and be positive always … in spite of difficult times.

To those who have left a mark in your life.

And to those who made you laugh when you really needed somebody ...

To those who show you encouragement when you are down …

To your friends, and those who just passed by.

To those who look up to you for encouragement.

To those who need you at their side.

Never lose an opportunity to bring sunshine into the life of another. A few encouraging words could make a huge difference in someone’s life.

Life is more than just breathing. Real living is made up of moments that take your breath away.

Life is beautiful, especially with good friends.

May every moment of your life be filled with joy. :)

Venturing Out

Ever felt at times you wish to try something new, something ..out of the ordinary? But contradicting that feeling is the thought of face, or the what would people think about me mindset which usually stops us from going out and trying new things.

Actually... one should just put them all aside for once, and feel the ultimate freedom. :) It's rather nice, once in a while.

Break free.

Today I gave in to curling my hair. *gasps* It sounded so-really-not-me but the fun of running away without the goody-two shoes for once, is unforgettable. *big smile* Despite that, it seems fine now as I type this. My hair's back to normal. :D

So. Your turn. :) Put a foot outside your circle and experience the difference altogether in that short period of time. It might be as simple as curling your straight hair or as complex as making a life decision... :) easy or hard, dare yourself for the challenges that come your way through those steps you take, and embrace the fun time you'll bound to have!