In the Calm..

In the calm.. of Your presence, I am listening Lord....

This song struck me today as I read a friend's blog. I have been having a very crazy 2 weeks, rushing over 2 assignment reports, 2 presentations, 2 friends in my group. I think I even rushed God to "do good" to me. =.=

With the upcoming trip, life was even more not pleasant. So much to finalise and everything had to be done there and then. So much for seeing light amidst darkness.

Yesterday was the presentation, 2-4.30pm, 5.15-7.20pm. A whole long day indeed. My group was the first, and being typical me- always getting the "First" lot. So we kicked off everything. I would say, I am very proud of my teammates, for they gave their all despite the language barrier, despite the many glitches - they were serious about being in a team, and doing their best for the team. :)

Rushing for RCIA Mass - Presentation of the Creed, I arrived 2 minutes before it started, much to Fr Albert's astonishment that I was almost late. I was grateful I did not crash anyone during my drive from college to Church. Haha.

Rushed for EMMM meeting after that, to know that meeting was ending. -.- My college mate resisted attending meeting after nights of endless assignment rushing. It was a day of fast. Lol. Adrenaline rush, he said. Haha. 'Cause immediately after we're done with our presentations, we felt hungry and tired. Hmm..

Amidst all the happenings, be it of my will or not, I felt God's presence in the people around me. I actually trusted my whole presentation day to him, knowing he would put words into my mouth when I forget what to speak about. It was difficult to trust the whole morning, because I was so tired from the previous night and weak as I was, my human side told me to strive harder and work from my self limits. But God was all so amazing, to grant me a Spirit-filled stomach, mind and soul. He was amazing, to the extend that I said "I am presenting for the Lord, and I will present my best for the Lord." Knowing he is standing beside me always, I trusted. And HE never failed my trust.

All glory to the Almighty KING!

As the week died down a little, the trip will continue to boost up the confidence that God does not stop working just in my study life. He will journey with us and I pray and trust, that he will use us, his unworthy instruments for the salvation of all!

Time to sit still. Care to join me? :)

Update

Camp just finished last Friday. I guess the committee was rather proud of it, the fact that all happened as planned. :) Animating the camp was okay I suppose. Slept none the first night, as the ambiance was new, but the second day tire everyone out, me included. Nothing much to comment on as of now, just a couple of outstanding leaders and some minor glitches to look into for future camps.

Got back from camp, and went back half hour after that because some bags were not loaded into the bus? Funny. Made the trip back up and down again, realised that kolo mee at 10 mile was RM1.20 only for kosong.

Couldn't remember what happened that night. Haha.

Class the next day was fine. Whatever happened to Starbucks and free coffee? Other than class, got the presentation script done (somewhat) and the rest of the Saturday went as how it would normally go.

Sunday. Supposed to sleep after coming home from Mass and breakfast, but strained to get the script done. The presentation was in the afternoon, according to a friend/team mate it was terrible. Result for being spontaneous. But what I think is that everyone tried their best?

Some things are better left unsaid.

The Week

Ah I'm back... :)

After a whole long week of ....rush and all sorts of feelings and experiences, time to get back to reality and sit here and type again. So what's with the week?

Sunday - Tuesday: Mid-Term review of the Pastoral Focus on the Family by Archdiocese of Kuching. Had the priviledge of sharing my life story to 300 delegates from 11 parishes including the Shepherd and all other priests.. wow. :)

But with the car cooking my patience on the second day and causing lots of inconveniences and panic and worries, ah.... I almost died of I-don't-know-what-to-do... yet things just unfolded fine on its own at its own time.

Wed - "Break time" before the 'second half' of the week. Supposingly to get rest and take a break off the 3-day conference and prepare for the Leadership Formation camp (LFC) but... as usual, last minute-ness and craziness ate me up. Battery almost ran flat.

Thurs morning - supposingly get all shopping done for camp the day before but something else crept up and somehow things had to be done alone and unknown. So shopping carried forward and was "supposed" to go up Mt Singai in the morning but the car meragam again and caused more casualties. I got to rest no doubt, (well I needed it in the first place) but then things at camp happened and there were miscommunication and...no one's cooking for us? Thank God for an angel who just 'happened' to be at camp who's taking cooking lessons so he cooked for us with a team of half-pail knowledge assistants. :D

Camp dragged for 48 hours and we got back Kuching on Sat evening, of which we (as if not tired enough) went for makan and minum at Open Air and then back to office to chit chat and then later at night went to McD for a farewell drink with the "camp chef" before he leaves for studies.

Sunday - How time flies. It's a week gone. Supposed to get the assignment done, yet nothing's ready. Quiz on Monday yet I was flat at home, recharging. Mum insisted to go back to her dad's place so had to tag along and spent half morning, lunch and half afternoon there... Pond harvesting. :) Swimming in the mud for the guys = cool~ Got back home and dozed off for 15 minutes before going out again. I almost died. My legs ached madly, going up and down the mountain twice. I salute those guys going up and down 4-5 times, each time carrying stuff up, eg. diesel 5 gallon x 3 sets x 6 persons. Thank you guys. :) I'm sure you will be rewarded with muscles soon.

Sunday night - dinner. And there we laughed like crazy people who've never laughed before. Now with 4 crazy animators, we have a new generation of crazy student leaders. :S

Monday - morning I couldn't get my brain to work. Dad drove me home to sleep after mass and breakfast and I only touched on supply and demand 3 hours before the quiz. Brain froze at the start of it, but got it done in the end. Hope all's fine.

And so... the week's over. I've got office work piling up, camp work to be finished and some minors here and there to get settled. Life's just the beginning of something new. When one thing's done, something new and better creeps up. Till then, goodnight!

Venturing Out

Ever felt at times you wish to try something new, something ..out of the ordinary? But contradicting that feeling is the thought of face, or the what would people think about me mindset which usually stops us from going out and trying new things.

Actually... one should just put them all aside for once, and feel the ultimate freedom. :) It's rather nice, once in a while.

Break free.

Today I gave in to curling my hair. *gasps* It sounded so-really-not-me but the fun of running away without the goody-two shoes for once, is unforgettable. *big smile* Despite that, it seems fine now as I type this. My hair's back to normal. :D

So. Your turn. :) Put a foot outside your circle and experience the difference altogether in that short period of time. It might be as simple as curling your straight hair or as complex as making a life decision... :) easy or hard, dare yourself for the challenges that come your way through those steps you take, and embrace the fun time you'll bound to have!

Xiao Di Di

Today is my xiao di di's birthday. He's now 18, legal. O.o

I met this person in January. When I entered first day of class, he was there already. At first I thought he was a friend of some other friends of mine, or went into the wrong class, or something.. but he was actually a new student in my class. XP Hence the handshakes and introduction was made.

Throughout these 6 months studying together, I realized that there IS such thing as unending sarcasm and that one can be so pessimist towards life yet live to see it crumble? But there is also the good side of him that he reveals only to the known and when needed. Hmm. All the same, this person finally came into my class as the person whom I can speak English to, for the rest are mostly Mandarin speakers. :P

Despite all the "pain" this person gave me, and is still giving me, it is indeed an honor to be his classmate. To have someone who scores 19/20 for Bio test and still owes us KFC, and still owes me a lot of stories on 'retrenchment' and 'stories-I'll-never-understand', God has really been gracious to let me meet and know you! :)

Oh, and since you are 18, practise wisdom ya. :) Hope my leaves have helped you in one way or another. Thank you for being my friend and brother; for being there when in times of need. May you have a blessed birthday and many great returns for a great future filled with hope~!

Of Mineral Water and Coordinator

This morning was at college. For a reason to get mineral water bottle supplies from Coordinator. Apparently Miss Early was there already, alone. Went up to hunt for Coordinator but she went somewhere so decided to wait with Miss Early. :P

Then after the mineral water boxes were transfered, we had a friendly talk. It seemed that neither her nor us was happy with the separation. Spending 3-months together felt so short a time to know each other better, now that we won't have such great opportunity anymore. But one thing to be happy about is that she has finally chosen the right path in which she will enjoy and treasure most. Sad though it seems, but it's a door to a new walk of life. And for that we must rejoice.

Almost got her into tears, which would be a true witness to the bond we've built. Here's wishing you the very best, and with many thanks for a great experience.

TOEFL

Today was the big day for the big English test as foreign language (TOEFL). 5 of us went together; we practically started studying together, journeyed together and sat for the test together. I saw it all.

That morning while at registration, problem came. We all had no passports as identification document. =.= There panic came over Anne, whereas the rest of us, surprisingly remained calm as if there were no big issue. Anne got us the certification letter from college which guaranteed our papers being marked - phew - else we would have been in deep deep trouble.

My personal experience during exam: I almost fell asleep during the test. =.= Of all times, and all exams, this. Well, practically because the day before was a little too hectic for me too and I suffered the consequences after test. Had to stay in bed the whole afternoon for good, for once. And for the last time hopefully.

But overall, we all survived it. Results will be out in about 6 weeks time. By then, what's done is done. After all, what matters is we did our best and let the result be the judge.

To the rest of you taking the test with me, well done! :)

To those who prayed and supported silently or loudly from behind, thank you for your helping hand. :)

To the test markers, please be in good mood when marking our essays. :)

Till then, 6 weeks.

Finishing up

Exam's near... and it means the semester is coming to an end. More specifically, year 1 ending, which means year 2 starting = more work.

How time flies. :) It's been a year. A fast year. I can't really remember what I've learnt throughout the whole year except that things come and go and ..yea. :) I'll skip details.

So, assignment to rush. Words to read. Notes to remember. Busy busy, but..

Smiles not to forget. :)

All the best, friends!

100th Post?

Whenever I read somone's blog on their 100th's post, They would surely write about how long it has been since they started writing and how things started in the first place and how things are going..

But for my 100th post, I'm not going to talk about the past and how this blog came to life. Instead this post will be about..

Future.


Ooo...sounds as if I'm a palm reader or something. But I'm not. XP

After the approach on future courses and career, I've been weighing myself lately. How would I face the future when the courses I take comes to life. How would I handle situations when the worst and least expected happens. Can I this, can I that. How this, how that.

It fills me so much with uncertainty and I dare say, fear, to know that life isn't what I thought it would be when I was younger. What will come next. What will happen in future. How will I see myself in 10 years, 20 years. How things will be. How things are going to change. How I am going to adapt to it.

I suppose it's time to think. There's no more "Oops, my bad. Let me try again." and repeat the same thing without any problems. Now there's only, "Wrong? Move forward. Learn not to do the same again." How things have changed. How time has ticked.

And not forgetting, how people have changed. =)

If we don't appreciate now, we'll never get to appreciate anymore.

Special Dedication

This post is specially for my college buddies, dedicated to acknowledge their constant support and sibling-love! Thanks guys (and girls)!

Everyone has friends. Close, distant. Good, bad. Obedient, naughty. You name it. This group of friends I'm dedicating this post to, are my best college buddies. I dare announce this because they are really the kind of friends you want to have, yet wish they're not your friends. Hmm..I'll go straight to the point.

2 weeks ago I was in a sick state. I refused to accept the fact that I was 'sick', I wanted to be just 'not well'. These college mates of mine, mainly Allister, Grace and Soon, are tough older siblings to have. Continuous nag nag naggings came from elder sis Grace, repetitive news "you are very sick" from Soon, and everything else from Allister. Those days in college was 'suffering'; yet I saw above all, their caring heart.

Having lunch with Grace was..hard. "No, cannot la. Later ah..you get worse..." I always crave for fried food when I'm sick, which I wasn't supposed to eat. Typical as an elder sister, Grace was the obstacle for my food intake. =.=" Obediently, I had to obey.. but thank you, Grace. If not for you, I would have gotten worst.

Then during one conversation with Soon, he asked me how I was. I replied in a way not wanting to tell him because at that moment, I was in a very sick state and being stubborn, I never wanted others to care about me. But this typical elder brother of mine insisted I answer his question, and I had to give in. After knowing my condition, he gave me 'special' attention and even went to the extend of buying medicine for me (because I refused to visit the doctor). I can only say now, I really appreciate his effort of helping me accept the reality that 'I am not so sick' but actually 'I am very sick'. Haha, thank you Soon.

Allister.. my pillow. Haha. She provides entertainment during my unwell phase. Knowing that boredom creeps in for sick patients, she tackled all of them for me. Thank you! So blessed to have you all!

Not to forget, Jac and Adrian who are the 'jokers' in the family. Jac, who was the first to comment of me having 's.e.x.y' voice just because I had terrible sore throat and lost my voice. That was the first time someone actually said that to me. O.o Adrian...quiet little guy. But all the same, I think he got sick the same time I was sick. I wonder if I spread the disease to him..hmm..

There was once I asked them, "what right do you have to tell me to do this and that, and not do this and that??" They simply replied, "because we are older than you." Oh! I wanted to stand my ground but that was it. It was enough being a few months older to get me back on my own two feet and start walking again. There's so much to express, but one thing: Thank you guys for your constant care and love. I've never had such loving elder siblings. You guys are definitely one in a million, and I will never trade you for anything. =)

This post is for you all.


-little cup-

New Things

Recently I started my new semester in college, taking up 3 subjects. 2 out of them are new subjects, whereas the other one was exposed in high school before. I always think that new subjects means new lecturers. However, this thought of mine was crushed today as I found out my 2 new subjects are taught by my 2 not-so-new lecturers.

Facing the previous lecturers means facing the past. Why do I say so? The past here refers to the previous semester where we had these same lecturers in class - with all the 'happy' moments we had together as student-lecturer. And I dare say no one likes going back to the past, especially when it is not so memorable.

To cut the long story short of the past I had, I admit I don't really look forward to this semester's classes..perhaps due to the lecturers. But an additional thought came and said "Hey, they're humans too.. and it's not so bad.. Think on the really happy moments you had during their classes; it was fun, wasn't it?"

Well, there have been stomach-pain laughing moments and very pressuring assignment moments; but aren't all those part and parcel of life? As I write this, I not only educate myself to face the past - with hope that it will be different this time - yet I urge myself to strive to prove the best of myself for this new subject. Easier said than done, but..we'll see how things go. Perhaps different subjects have different styles of teaching. You'll never know what's new about the new subject, and the lecturer.


-little cup-