Silent Reflection

I did not abandon my blog, haha, just that I felt it should go on 'Silent Reflection' for a while.

Amazingly, keeping quiet is one of the toughest things to do. Can we as humans, stay silent (not talking, texting, calling, passing messages, or simply no communication with another human) for 2 days? It's tough. I mean, what to do while keeping silent, besides keeping silent??

Boring....

Well, try it. :)

I tried it, it was rather nice, I would say, to be at peace with yourself after so many 'happenings'. To be able to just sit and think about yourself, about how things around you come about, and about how you relate with those things. Though at first try, you will feel great discomfort as the very next moment you want to say something or you want to communicate with another person. But once the world goes silent, you feel yourself in your own world of which no one else can disturb, where you get to set the rules, where that world alone belongs to you.

Much uncertainty if you understand that kind of experience, but if you succeed 2 days without communication, share with me. :)

Saying No

One of the most difficult words as a friend, to say No to another friend.

Being a Yes person burdens one down if time is not managed properly. As in the Communication's Drama Triangle; being the rescuer but end up as the victim. Victim of unable to complete own responsibilities and taking unto one's shoulders the problems and responsibilities of another. Not only do you not get enough rest, there is no time for yourself, your family, your other friends, free time even; to victims, true enough?

Sad as it is, it's true.

So, how to say No?

Prioritise. Know what is more important: the friendship or the "taking of advantage" by the friend? I've learnt my lesson and it takes time to say No, since the great empathy is there to keep the Yes going.

Try it once, and you'll enjoy saying No at your busiest times.

Mental not: To be logical and practise wisdom at all times.

Rebirth

The Holy Week entering Easter - a renewal of faith and commitment. I felt different this year.

Monday - Wednesday: Life was ...down the hill. It felt as if I was walking towards the place of crucifixion, being spat on, jeered, mocked.. I wondered if that was how Jesus felt. I felt the burden of the cross he carried.

Thursday: The evening of prayer and waiting.. I have never knelt so long before the Lord, yearning for his presence, for his grace and mercy. I have never felt so sorry before him.. putting myself in Judas' shoes. I was sinful.

Friday: What greater love than a man to lay down his life for another. It was a day of solemness, a day to reflect the perfect love portrayed.. and a day of which my dear puppy died being knocked down by a car.. Much despair and hopelessness.. silence engulfed me.

Saturday: Day of breaking free from all the lowliness, all the hopelessness. For Easter - the resurrection, a new life will begin. Easter Vigil that night was wonderful, a time spent with family celebrating the new light of Christ. What greater JOY to hope for than the one from God!

Sunday: The Coffee Morning sale, a big hit despite everyone lacking rest due to last minute errands and preparations. Learnt more about making things happen than saying things happen. Being childlike was the Lord's calling. The Lord indeed rose from the dead, that even death could never do him apart .. a miracle of rebirth, in me.

I died with Christ on Good Friday, and he lifted me up on his Resurrection Day - for I am his beloved, nothing can take that fact away. (Lev 12:26)

I pray for a new life in you too this Easter! He is RISEN! Alleluia! :)

When sun rises and stars blink

Looking out the window each morning and night, I see the same images - all except the colour; it's bright yellow during the day and dark black during the night. As each day passes by, the time left for each other also shortens.

A friend once shared with me, one should find time to spend with close friends now that they are still here with us, rather than wait till they have left (for all reasons) then think about going out with them.

It is selfish just to spend time developing a friendship just for the sake of boosting the friend's self-esteem, or building the foundation of faith, so a friend said. As a result, when the friend can stand on one's own, the initial friend lets go so the friend can move on. There silence filled the communication atmosphere, though little thoughts of kindness do travel through the air now and then to keep the string attached.

The thought of wanting the best for the friend has been reflected back: that just making friends for that reason and letting the friend go after the 'mission' has been accomplished are one-way acts, for one's own personal benefits not wanting to have further relation with the friend.

But whatever happened to mutual understanding and lasting friendship? Two friends are true friends if both can still maintain good relationship despite the many silent moments spent together. Is that even true?

I'm confused at how perception changes the whole human mind. I have yet to find out how to channel my sight to see the unique perception of others. Until then, I shall see the sun rise and stars blink each day and night.

The Pinch of Salt

As I prepared meals this week, I always hesitated when it comes to putting in that pinch of salt. Should it be one pinch? Or a little bit more than that pinch?

I realised life sometimes has that moment requiring us to put in an extra pinch of salt. It differs for each individual since we all eat different amount of salt.

Putting in that extra pinch at times require a lot of effort, till we end up questioning ourselves if it was worth all the hard work. The outcome might not appear immediately, but in the long term, it will. As long as you keep adding the extra pinch.

I was adding my pinch of salt to the dish I was preparing, and I doubted when putting it into the wok. I felt my heart nudging me to just put that much, and that was how much I put in. Sometimes we feel the nudge in ourselves to put more salt, or to cut down the salt input. Self intuition has always worked for me, so I listen.

I have no idea what I'm writing, but I know it takes a pinch of salt to make the dish taste nice. :)

Surrender

The 3rd YCS East Malaysia Encounter (EME) 2010 was successfully held in Sibu. This was one camp that called me to trust in the Lord, knowing how different the team worked this time round. Despite many head-cracking events and all the squeeze before the EME, all things went well, thanks to the big one up there!

The call to surrender is easy, but the act to surrender is difficult. Who would have known things would turn out well when every hope and trust is put on God? That is faith.

May the Spirit continue to work wonders in the lives of all those involved with the camp. May they be instruments to bring more glory and praise to the one who brought them out of the deepest pit from the camp.

All glory and honour and praise to the Almighty God~

In the Calm..

In the calm.. of Your presence, I am listening Lord....

This song struck me today as I read a friend's blog. I have been having a very crazy 2 weeks, rushing over 2 assignment reports, 2 presentations, 2 friends in my group. I think I even rushed God to "do good" to me. =.=

With the upcoming trip, life was even more not pleasant. So much to finalise and everything had to be done there and then. So much for seeing light amidst darkness.

Yesterday was the presentation, 2-4.30pm, 5.15-7.20pm. A whole long day indeed. My group was the first, and being typical me- always getting the "First" lot. So we kicked off everything. I would say, I am very proud of my teammates, for they gave their all despite the language barrier, despite the many glitches - they were serious about being in a team, and doing their best for the team. :)

Rushing for RCIA Mass - Presentation of the Creed, I arrived 2 minutes before it started, much to Fr Albert's astonishment that I was almost late. I was grateful I did not crash anyone during my drive from college to Church. Haha.

Rushed for EMMM meeting after that, to know that meeting was ending. -.- My college mate resisted attending meeting after nights of endless assignment rushing. It was a day of fast. Lol. Adrenaline rush, he said. Haha. 'Cause immediately after we're done with our presentations, we felt hungry and tired. Hmm..

Amidst all the happenings, be it of my will or not, I felt God's presence in the people around me. I actually trusted my whole presentation day to him, knowing he would put words into my mouth when I forget what to speak about. It was difficult to trust the whole morning, because I was so tired from the previous night and weak as I was, my human side told me to strive harder and work from my self limits. But God was all so amazing, to grant me a Spirit-filled stomach, mind and soul. He was amazing, to the extend that I said "I am presenting for the Lord, and I will present my best for the Lord." Knowing he is standing beside me always, I trusted. And HE never failed my trust.

All glory to the Almighty KING!

As the week died down a little, the trip will continue to boost up the confidence that God does not stop working just in my study life. He will journey with us and I pray and trust, that he will use us, his unworthy instruments for the salvation of all!

Time to sit still. Care to join me? :)