Concern indeed..

I came across this incident where a friend of mine asked "What's going on?" since I was sharing about something with another friend. So out of respect and trust that this other friend was kind enough to listen to my sharing, I shared. Before long this friend started giving remarks of own experiences too.

Well, I was sharing about life and how it has been.. surely there are ups and downs and apparently lately with more downs..so this friend too commented of own downs and how this friend still survives..

All I asked was just a listening ear and an open heart, I need no comments as yet. I had not even finished my words. Oh well, I let that friend talked and in the end I became the ear. Haha.

Funny friends I meet lately. So being concern does not necessarily mean you need to comfort the person.. silence might just do the work.

Which is Important?

I recently came across this friend of mine who can't seem to judge the importance of life and the things that come with it. As a result, everything seems to go wrong ALL the time and this friend ends up very disheartened and upset..

So what IS important?

1, A final farewell party for a close friend or to stay at home and accompany old parents?

2, To celebrate a very close friend's birthday or to rush to the hospital for another friend's sudden labor?

Sometimes we tend to get our priorities mixed up. We feel as if we know what to do yet we did the wrong thing. And people end up being so mad and we end up "Why?! What did I do wrong...?"

Everyone has their own outlook of life. Everyone sees things differently, of different importance. But if everyone sees Example 1 that it is more important to stay home than attend the farewell party, yet we feel otherwise, there might just be a tiny confusion of importance in our judgment. Similarly with Example 2, it is more important to be at the hospital with the friend in need of support rather than cooking dinner for a close friend's birthday..though we may again, think otherwise. And that's where we look at all the other factors that come with it - who needs me more, how will I function at the scene, what is my role etc..

And that's where moral comes in, and the fight of the "good" and "bad" in ourselves. To enjoy with our friend who is leaving for the last time or to stay home and listen to old parents ramble. To celebrate a birthday with joy and happiness or to be at the hospital and watch a friend in pain. Then again, it depends how much we are needed.

But all the same, we can't benefit everyone with whichever decision we are going to make. Someone will get hurt, and it comes down to how much hurt they get and if those hurts can be made up with future accompaniment.

Example 1 - We WILL meet our friends again in near future when they come back to their hometown, but we might not see our parents so often as they are old and weak..and they were the ones who took care of us since young.

Example 2 - There WILL be more birthdays to celebrate in future, or we can throw a surprise belated gathering.. but we might risk not being there at the hospital where life and death in concerned.

So, weigh it. If it was YOU in those scenarios, won't you like to have someone to accompany you in your difficult times?

Need a Laugh?

DO YOU GO TO CHURCH?

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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CHURCH FOR THIS DRUNK

A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off.

The priest has been watching him all a long, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him.

He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."

The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.

Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP!"

The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.

Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

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WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

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A VERY FAITHFUL WOMAN

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."

The neighbour jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"

-Credits to those who created these humour. :)

Silent Reflection

I did not abandon my blog, haha, just that I felt it should go on 'Silent Reflection' for a while.

Amazingly, keeping quiet is one of the toughest things to do. Can we as humans, stay silent (not talking, texting, calling, passing messages, or simply no communication with another human) for 2 days? It's tough. I mean, what to do while keeping silent, besides keeping silent??

Boring....

Well, try it. :)

I tried it, it was rather nice, I would say, to be at peace with yourself after so many 'happenings'. To be able to just sit and think about yourself, about how things around you come about, and about how you relate with those things. Though at first try, you will feel great discomfort as the very next moment you want to say something or you want to communicate with another person. But once the world goes silent, you feel yourself in your own world of which no one else can disturb, where you get to set the rules, where that world alone belongs to you.

Much uncertainty if you understand that kind of experience, but if you succeed 2 days without communication, share with me. :)

Saying No

One of the most difficult words as a friend, to say No to another friend.

Being a Yes person burdens one down if time is not managed properly. As in the Communication's Drama Triangle; being the rescuer but end up as the victim. Victim of unable to complete own responsibilities and taking unto one's shoulders the problems and responsibilities of another. Not only do you not get enough rest, there is no time for yourself, your family, your other friends, free time even; to victims, true enough?

Sad as it is, it's true.

So, how to say No?

Prioritise. Know what is more important: the friendship or the "taking of advantage" by the friend? I've learnt my lesson and it takes time to say No, since the great empathy is there to keep the Yes going.

Try it once, and you'll enjoy saying No at your busiest times.

Mental not: To be logical and practise wisdom at all times.

Rebirth

The Holy Week entering Easter - a renewal of faith and commitment. I felt different this year.

Monday - Wednesday: Life was ...down the hill. It felt as if I was walking towards the place of crucifixion, being spat on, jeered, mocked.. I wondered if that was how Jesus felt. I felt the burden of the cross he carried.

Thursday: The evening of prayer and waiting.. I have never knelt so long before the Lord, yearning for his presence, for his grace and mercy. I have never felt so sorry before him.. putting myself in Judas' shoes. I was sinful.

Friday: What greater love than a man to lay down his life for another. It was a day of solemness, a day to reflect the perfect love portrayed.. and a day of which my dear puppy died being knocked down by a car.. Much despair and hopelessness.. silence engulfed me.

Saturday: Day of breaking free from all the lowliness, all the hopelessness. For Easter - the resurrection, a new life will begin. Easter Vigil that night was wonderful, a time spent with family celebrating the new light of Christ. What greater JOY to hope for than the one from God!

Sunday: The Coffee Morning sale, a big hit despite everyone lacking rest due to last minute errands and preparations. Learnt more about making things happen than saying things happen. Being childlike was the Lord's calling. The Lord indeed rose from the dead, that even death could never do him apart .. a miracle of rebirth, in me.

I died with Christ on Good Friday, and he lifted me up on his Resurrection Day - for I am his beloved, nothing can take that fact away. (Lev 12:26)

I pray for a new life in you too this Easter! He is RISEN! Alleluia! :)

When sun rises and stars blink

Looking out the window each morning and night, I see the same images - all except the colour; it's bright yellow during the day and dark black during the night. As each day passes by, the time left for each other also shortens.

A friend once shared with me, one should find time to spend with close friends now that they are still here with us, rather than wait till they have left (for all reasons) then think about going out with them.

It is selfish just to spend time developing a friendship just for the sake of boosting the friend's self-esteem, or building the foundation of faith, so a friend said. As a result, when the friend can stand on one's own, the initial friend lets go so the friend can move on. There silence filled the communication atmosphere, though little thoughts of kindness do travel through the air now and then to keep the string attached.

The thought of wanting the best for the friend has been reflected back: that just making friends for that reason and letting the friend go after the 'mission' has been accomplished are one-way acts, for one's own personal benefits not wanting to have further relation with the friend.

But whatever happened to mutual understanding and lasting friendship? Two friends are true friends if both can still maintain good relationship despite the many silent moments spent together. Is that even true?

I'm confused at how perception changes the whole human mind. I have yet to find out how to channel my sight to see the unique perception of others. Until then, I shall see the sun rise and stars blink each day and night.