Busy yet free?

This week has been exceptionally busy for me. Can't imagine how I lived through it. Even those around me conplain I've been too busy a bee.

I'm supposed to be busy now. But work has not arrived. More like, NONE arrived. And deadline for submission is....TODAY! Gosh, why must I be the one to do the final draft.. So now just spending a little free time for when the work comes, it comes in a PILE. And then I'll be extremely busy till I have second thoughts on going to the washroom even when nature calls. Imagine that busy-ness.

As I see it, work will only come in in another few hours time. And I'll be working OT again. Haih.

Oh well, hope they come earlier.

Trampled

I am so tired. I am so so so tired. I'm starting to dislike the computer. I'm starting to dislike official places. I'm actually forcing myself to like them. I dislike forcing things on others. But now I dislike myself forcing things on myself.

Everyone is saying the same. Why can't you all try to understand. Understand me. My situation. My position. My shoes. I'm tired of everyone. No. I'm tired of myself.

Please stop the time. If only wishes come true, I wish I'm never here.

Having another line

As I read through others' posts about a same certain line, can't help but feel rather left out. You've got the idea that, "Hey, I'm in that line too!" but not being accepted to be in it. That's rather sad.

Then there's this line that you don't feel that you belong to, but you're in it and can't get away. That's where things start to happen and all these shape your mind into thinking, "Oh how I dislike this line!" (I won't want to use the word 'hate' though it sounds better with the sentence.) "But (sigh), I can't get away..."

Well, having another line is not that bad actually. It widens your circle of knowledge, social partners and so much more. And it's nothing wrong to be in that different line..

But there's just that one thing that makes you prefer the other line more than the one you're in now; and I'm sure if you've had similar experiences, you would know.

No Air

Here it comes again.

No air for the week.

OH *gasps* and *sighs*..

And I typed & posted this in 10 seconds!

Lost

At this spur of moment, things are not working out.

Sometimes I wonder why do things never work out well when I am the one planning them. Is it that I'm such a poor planner? I admit now I feel that I am bad at it. Sigh.

Consulting an elder was exactly what I needed. To get advice from an older and more experienced person, and to not take things on my own as if my decisions are the only ones that are correct. No.

But will advice alone work, without 'good' planning hands?

Why Lord, I ask. Why me. Why this. Why why why..


Lord, I'm lost..

A planned road is all I ask, for You are the best planner I've ever known.

Justice

To be justified is what everyone hopes to get in their lives. But do we always get to live in justice?

Here's a comparison to think about and see if justice is present:

Guy A works for a company with a min pay of RM1500. he has been working for a little over a year. Suddenly, he had to take a 2-month leave to take care of his old grandmother at home and the office he was in, was left vacant.

The company employed a new temporary worker, Guy B to fill in his place for those 2 months. This new employee could only work part-time in the mornings, but all the work done by Guy A were piled on Guy B. There were deadlines and pressure heated up every now and then to get things done in time, and in good outcomes. Guy B also had to spend half his time studying in the afternoons in order to get better pay in future jobs he planned to apply for. He had to juggle everything, and his full-time studies were not that easy.

Talking about pay. Guy B was only paid RM250 because he was employed on a part-time basis. But not to forget, all the work similarly done by Guy A (who was paid RM1500) was done by Guy B in a shorter period of time in a month.

So my question is, who was justified?

New year..No more New?

Yesterday was Chap Goh Mei. (15th 'night' of the Lunar New Year). It wasn't a very nice day considering I had to be on the road for 2 hours sending papers for air and land deliveries.. Back at the office, some neigbouring shops let off bombs to 'chase away the evil ones' on the final day of the Chinese New Year and shocked some of those coming to pray.

And I, was answering nature's call in the small little room when a loud bomb exploded from the next door shop, just right next to the room where I was in..and the noise shook the whole room I was in. I was shocked of all that's inside of me. And my left ear hurt.

Until now, it's still slightly ringing inside, goodness knows what happened. Grew to be tired easily when work pile up to be done.. Even trips back home seemed to be short (usually very long and draggy with traffic jams) as short naps were taken in the car.

Mum said her friend became deaf after one bomb exploded right next to her ear. And I was in a room with echo hitting back at me.. I shiver as I thought of the worst.

But .. is the worst yet to come?

What matters in life..

A vacationing American businessman was standing on the pier of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico when a small boat with just one young fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American casually asked.

"Oh, a few hours," the Mexican replied.

"Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the American businessman then asked.
The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The businessman then became serious, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, "I sleep late, play with my children, watch ballgames, and take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing a few songs..."

The American businessman impatiently interrupted: "Look, I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.

With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, you can then buy a second boat, a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats.

Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product, processing and distribution.

You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even LA or New York City, where you could even further expand your enterprise."

Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, "But how long will all this take?"

After a rapid mental calculation, the businessman pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if you work really hard."

"And then what, senor?" asked the fisherman.

"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions? Really? What could I do with it all?" asked the young fisherman in disbelief.

The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire with all the money you've made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ballgames, take siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want."


The moral of the story is: Know what really matters in life, and you may find that it is already much closer than you think.


-AUTHOR UNKNOWN-

Until today..

CNY was rather short, and quiet this year. Old friends were here but things have changed quite a lot. We don't hang out as often anymore.. Also, this CNY for me was just..3 days. Due to commitment to get the papers printed on time for distribution. However the break of 3-days was enough to give me plenty of time to rest from busy working brain. But after that, until today..still no rest yet.

I actually broke my record of staring into the computer screen for more than 5 hours a day. This time round was..12 hours max. I worked from 730am to 730pm on last Friday just to get things done and organized. Mum was rather supportive to stay in the office with me for 10 hours. She went off somewhere in between. I suppose heavy rain does bring blessings in disguise. For me, yes. For her no since there were many things to do at home. But yea, when I got home that evening, the last thing I wanted to do was answer any phone calls, but I had to eventually.. So much for rest.

This hectic weekend taught me to rely on God to give me strength and energy to so my work. So many problems! Firstly, the assistant computer broke down. Then the technician came and fixed it. The next thing, scanner can't scan anything..even until today. Caused me so much inconvenience delay in work. Not enough, the main working computer shuts down by itself! And the program I used, could not be accessed! Man, that was really a tough frustrating day in the office. I wanted to hit the computer to obey me or scold it or do anything to make it work..so much frustrations inside of me. I had to work with deadlines which was in 2 days, and the thing didn't treat me well. I almost cried when the computer shut down all my work (which I did the whole morning and forgot to save...) and the recovery process took ages and failed in the end! I was ..really down in the lowest pit. I didn't know who to turn to, my bosses didn't know how to work that well with computers and Vic should not be disturbed.. Mum was just..there. She didn't know what to do or what to say to me.. She pitied me, as far as she told me the work was tough cos she won't know how to do it.

During lunch break, I took my eyes off the pc. Went off with parents for some rice..at BDC which tasted really nice and took me away from those frustrating thoughts. On the way back to the office, I just pleaded God to recover the files lost.. I just told him I didn't want to do everything all over again. I was so tired already, shoulders aching madly and eyes strained. I wanted to just lie down and sleep.

And the next thing that happened when I opened that program, it WORKED! PRAISE THE LORD! I was so happy, rejoicing, thankful..everything that I IMMEDIATELY saved everything in another file. And that saved me from redoing it! Prayers really work. In those times of need, God will just jump in and say "hey, need help? here, let me do it.." Isn't that wonderful? The one thing is only that we should put God first and play our part. I just didn;t know what else to say to God except thank you Lord. This was on Friday.

Saturday was the ASC meeting and PRESS DAY. Clash. I did all I could to list down things to present during meeting, and trusted everything to my assistants. No comments on that. But that day I worked till 230 without taking lunch, and got home with a terrible headache. Things weren't doing that well for me. I slept at 9.

Then that night, I had a dream the papers won't be published and there was some trouble in the office that I had to work at night and things started to happen..a guy came and chased after me and almost raped..and I woke up with goosebumps and fear. It was only 12 midnight. I couldn't sleep until 2 something then woke up at 530 for Mass. ...

Monday..worked from 730am til..230pm. I was late for class for 1 hour. Class started at 2 and I arrived at 3. Thank God the lecturer was understanding. But I was so drowsy in class + philosophy teaching, I yawned non-stop. I even dozed off during 'break time' for 5 minutes. but that's the last of my work. Things are QUITE done..as of today, TUE, things are done.=)

PTL!