Going against it

When you meet with some sort of situation where you have to go against your moral, your own belief, you sometimes hope that those involved will stand next to you to help make the decision. Should you go against your moral just for the sake of saving another person, which benefits yourself at the same time... or should you just let it be since that was how it was in the first place and should be?

I held on. I couldn't do it though my hands reacted the other way round. No one was there, and even if there was, it was of no help either. Decision-making, how weak one becomes when facing it.

Update

Camp just finished last Friday. I guess the committee was rather proud of it, the fact that all happened as planned. :) Animating the camp was okay I suppose. Slept none the first night, as the ambiance was new, but the second day tire everyone out, me included. Nothing much to comment on as of now, just a couple of outstanding leaders and some minor glitches to look into for future camps.

Got back from camp, and went back half hour after that because some bags were not loaded into the bus? Funny. Made the trip back up and down again, realised that kolo mee at 10 mile was RM1.20 only for kosong.

Couldn't remember what happened that night. Haha.

Class the next day was fine. Whatever happened to Starbucks and free coffee? Other than class, got the presentation script done (somewhat) and the rest of the Saturday went as how it would normally go.

Sunday. Supposed to sleep after coming home from Mass and breakfast, but strained to get the script done. The presentation was in the afternoon, according to a friend/team mate it was terrible. Result for being spontaneous. But what I think is that everyone tried their best?

Some things are better left unsaid.

Spreading

I just noticed how fast news spread. And how fast creepy crawly things compete with them.. I don't want it to spread anymore. It makes you scratch and tear it open.

Imposing pain to heal; that's psychological problem.

How great it is to have everything smooth.

Unending Weeks

After the big bang of new movie 2012; of which I'm quite curious on its graphics, I start to think that these busy weeks of mine would end soon. (Ya right, in my dreams.)

It just felt as if I was busy last week.. and this week I'm even more busy with even more things? Now how did that multiply.

Sometimes I question if my decisions are ever right. I end up doing more than I should, but the tiny voice inside says it's for the good of all? Oh gosh. 24 hours, please lengthen.

Kosong semuanya

Sudah bertahun lamanya tidak menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Entah hilang ke mana perasaan tersebut setelah dua tahun yang lalu menulis esei yang panjangnya lima muka surat dalam masa sejam setengah. Kini kukembali mencungkil bakat yang kian terpendam, penggunaan kosa kata yang 'berbunga' kata mentorku dahulu.

Hari berganti hari, hatiku semakin kosong rasanya. Soalan menampar diriku, apakah gangguan mental punca masalah? Kata orang, dunia akan tamat tidak lama lagi. Ya, tahun ini akan berakhir dalam sebulan dua, tetapi dunia? Siapakah yang boleh pastikan hari dan waktunya. Semestinya bukan saya.

Seorang kawan pernah memberitahuku, "Aku akan berdiri di sampingmu pada masa yang sukar dan sedih - jika kamu perlukan aku." Namun kelibatnya tidak kelihatan apabila aku mula bertanya, apakah kamu sudi mendengar dan memegang janji rahsiaku ini. Tidak. Itu hanyalah janji-janji kosong. Terlalu naif bagiku untuk mempercayai kata-kata manismu yang hanya akan kamu buihkan. Kenyataan melanda apabila kamu bergerak pantas dari pandanganku dengan alasan yang hanya mampu digunakan padaku. Aku lalai mempercayaimu. Kini hatiku kosong, menjadi sepi mendengar keluhan nadi. Kosong semuanya, hanya kedengaran darah mengalir perlahan.

Ya, dunia akan berakhir suatu hari nanti. Biarlah hari tersebut menjadi kenyataan, sudah ku jemu menanti.

The Doorknob

Talk about being scared of something really funny. Redness.

Once upon a time, there was a door. This door was a wooden one, and had a hole in the place of the doorknob, supposingly. The eye played tricks and I saw no hole - but a great nice unique, out of the world kind of doorknob. Interesting! It looked something like this.

Nothing suspicious, as it was dark at night. Hence my hand swung pass it.. and it breathed into my hands! For the worse nightmare, I screamed la!

And my friend jumped out of his skin.

It was actually a Golden Retriever, or something like that. The big dog species. Only after I screamed did it bark and showed its teeth.

My heart died pumping oxygen to my brain. Thank God for handrails, else I would have dived into the longkang immediately. And thank God my friend did not pass out else I couldn't get home that night. Thank God nothing happened except for just increased heartbeats.

An unforgettable experience, for my friend yes. For me.. I'll forget about it soon enough. Haha!

So the next time you see a doorknob, look carefully. It might be a snake head instead.

Pandemic?

Yet again, another season of sneezing and choking before sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if I've got the Influenza. Kept falling into it lately. Twice in 3 months? My old record was once a year.

Down to meds again, with side effects of drowsy-ness, cranky-ness and lazyness. Forgive me if I snap at you. Uncontrollable neurons.

Wish it is not study period, but it is. Sadly.

Random

Flying across my mind now is the urge to write. But somehow there's nothing flying with that urge on what to write. Hence, it's rather blank.

Let's see what's random.

I'm rather irritated with the trendy penstache played in facebook where you have to take a picture of yourself pouting with a pen between your nose and lips and post online after which you tag your friends. I think it's..a nothing-else-better-to-do online thing. We should spend more time reading on something useful instead.

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The newspapers lately kept showing people getting robbed, injured, killed. And the latest this morning was the 12-year-old boy who got stung by "some insects", of which are bees and he died after his family failed to bring him immediately to medical attention. I wonder what's with the world today, where pain and hurt are overwhelming the supposedly 'increased income for better living'.. of which more smiles should be seen on the streets, and more sick people cured?

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Sitting for exams was never my liking, what more to say with limited facilities and restricted usage of proper materials. It made me feel as if I were back in the exam hall sitting for SPM. For that whole day, I wondered if that exam was necessary after all. It just killed more brain cells.

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Friends are getting very far when you try to get near them. What happened to 'friends forever', 'best-est best friend' and 'I'll always be there for you'? It's not about me, but I wonder if friendship really lasts.

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Everyone seems to be living for the sake of money, and living to earn as muuch as they can. I wonder if they realise money can't be brought to wherever they are going after they die? What's life, if everything is about money?

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None of the music/movie players can work now... It just killed my mood to watch Little Nyonya. Good series, check it out.

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Till end of this year, the world will be quiet and more eyes will be opened. Hopefully next year will be a slowdown. Or..maybe not.

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I am tired of writing. I should resume with my 7.30pm sleep again tonight. Thank you for spending time reading! :)

I doubt if these gave you any meaning, but they do, in fact.