That Day

Practically this was the day that pulled me down. Little did I realise it though, until it all came to me one after another.

New lessons learnt. New virtues to practise. New personality to be.

Thought it would end just during the day, but night played with me as well. And for all the things I had to do, it turned down on me and what a wreck it left.

I just pray that one day, just ONE day; all will be announced.


"What goes into the person does not determine the person's moral. It is what comes out of the person that determines the person's good and bad."

Make sense?

People Pleaser

There was once a little girl who came to me and asked, "Can you do this for me?" and held up her bracelet and lifted her right arm. "Sure, here" and I put on the latch for her. "Thanks!" and off she ran.

What if I just said "No" when she requested for my help. What if I just turned her down and walked on? Surely she would be sad since there's no one else to put it on for her.

And I can die of guilt or feeling bad for not making up her day.

I can't please everyone, not even myself. I can't please you reading this. Nor can I please myself writing this down. I've tried so hard. And the harder I try, the worse it becomes.

Hopefully it'll be better soon.

Sunday

Last Sunday was St Joseph's Parish Sale 2009. Held yearly, this year I took the challenge to set up 4 stalls. Something out of the extraordinary for a 'non-organizational' body. But everything went well.. well, not everything.

Preparation was fine until on Sat where I had to view my stalls location and finalize equipments. The gas tank issue was ...disappointing.

The socket problem was ...so late minute.

And on the sale day itself:
Not strategic location. I had the corner and yet there were 4 empty stalls in the middle I presume the owners forgot Sunday's the sale.

Recession = less money out, less money in.

Not very happy 'workers'.

Accidents and broken items.

Criticism. Unwillingness to help.


And I broke down in front of dad. Couldn't stand facing all those "bad" things alone. Felt so stupid. Felt so alone.

Dad was comforting. 5 minutes was enough to release the stress I had. It's been a while... But this experience certainly taught me many things about life and people.


But look on the bright side!

All items finished. Well, not finish also was given to those who've helped tirelessly. Sales was great. Will never trade this priceless experience despite the downfall it had.

What's life without challenges, dark pits and invisible ladders?

So much for a Sunday morning. Still recovering sleep and energy. Thank you all who helped, and all who came. We had fun, didn't we? Haha.

Cheers. :)

I am a Christian

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."

I'm whispering "I was lost,

Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble

and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed

And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner

Who received God's good grace, somehow!

by May Angelou

Finishing up

Exam's near... and it means the semester is coming to an end. More specifically, year 1 ending, which means year 2 starting = more work.

How time flies. :) It's been a year. A fast year. I can't really remember what I've learnt throughout the whole year except that things come and go and ..yea. :) I'll skip details.

So, assignment to rush. Words to read. Notes to remember. Busy busy, but..

Smiles not to forget. :)

All the best, friends!

100th Post?

Whenever I read somone's blog on their 100th's post, They would surely write about how long it has been since they started writing and how things started in the first place and how things are going..

But for my 100th post, I'm not going to talk about the past and how this blog came to life. Instead this post will be about..

Future.


Ooo...sounds as if I'm a palm reader or something. But I'm not. XP

After the approach on future courses and career, I've been weighing myself lately. How would I face the future when the courses I take comes to life. How would I handle situations when the worst and least expected happens. Can I this, can I that. How this, how that.

It fills me so much with uncertainty and I dare say, fear, to know that life isn't what I thought it would be when I was younger. What will come next. What will happen in future. How will I see myself in 10 years, 20 years. How things will be. How things are going to change. How I am going to adapt to it.

I suppose it's time to think. There's no more "Oops, my bad. Let me try again." and repeat the same thing without any problems. Now there's only, "Wrong? Move forward. Learn not to do the same again." How things have changed. How time has ticked.

And not forgetting, how people have changed. =)

If we don't appreciate now, we'll never get to appreciate anymore.

Ignored

It feels really sad, to know that the person you are working with, keeps things from you.

It feels really sad, that the person you think you are journeying with, has someone else to journey more with, and neglects you.

It feels really sad, to know the fact that things are kept from you is because for your own good, yet they forgot to think of your feelings of being kept off things.

It feels really sad, when that person - is you.

And not only you, there's more of you.

All of you.

Pierced

When Mary saw her only Son hanging on the cross for the sins of mankind, her heart was pierced as if by a sword, just as how Jesus was pierced by a lance.

How great the love she had for her Son, that she sacrificed her soul - only to see him die.

It certainly hurts to be pierced. Especially when true love is present among loved ones, and that caused the blood to flow.

But only God can nurse the wounds, for he knows his reasons for his plans.

Toothpaste?

Hmm... any knowledge of what this thing is?

Have a few guesses:

1, Toothpaste

2, Shaving cream

3, Mayonnaise

4, Hair cream

5, anything else you can think of?

Linked from here I got this:


Imported from Germany! This popular HOT mustard in a Tube is made from fresh-ground mustard seeds. Delicious when served with any of your favorite German sausages and sandwiches. You may even want to dip your German Bauernbrot in it! No preservatives. Refrigerate after opening. NET WT. 100ml


Oh.... actually it's mustard! Haha.

Funny thing was, my dad used it as toothpaste and he was thinking why his toothbrush turned all yellow and the color didn't wash off, and that it felt like he had just eaten cucumber.

LoL.

So much for brother going to Germany and buying home a toothpaste for good use. Teehee...

Words

Reflecting on the words that come out from others' mouths, you can actually know what's on their mind.

Words are not part of the game. We speak because there's a message we wish to convey to the listener. But how we speak, is the issue that is of most concern.

There is a saying 'Your tongue is sharper than the sword'. And I believe that is very true. I always think of how my words would affect others, but more often, I forgot to think how to speak when I speak. And that's where the problem is.

Words cut people.

But words can heal.

For a sick person, to say a few words of encouragement or hope, is comforting. But still, if the intention is not clear, or the true values of those words are not expressed, those words will just remain as.. letters + letters = words alone.

So are your words cutting, or are they healing?

Buzz Buzz..

This. Rarely Seen.

My dad got stung by a (huge male father) bee yesterday. Well, he wasn't actually at fault...BUT he did annoy the bees above him with the frictional irritating sound of sharpening the knife.. and he paid the price.

The story: At the first visit, dad drove the bee away as it was circling his head. The second visit, it was determined to stay, and it landed with...

An injection on his head. On the skull. Gosh.

So.. notice the picture above? The white thing inside the hive...? It's larva. A big one. Here's a more detailed picture, on what's inside the hive.

(This was taken out after the bees flew off and left the hive and 'babies' inside, for some particular reason.)

And this one below... is what's inside the hexagon honey thing. And that thing which looked like a shell, is the fragile, one-mm-thick hive wall. Order of arrangement: right to left - small egg to adult bee. Imagine how many bees will be born if it had not stung my dad.

And I conclude with this:

A new hive. Under the mango tree.

So much for Holy Week

Today marks the end of Holy Week. It's Easter Sunday and Jesus Christ is risen today! The Holy Week started last Sunday, where it was Palm Sunday - a time we welcome Jesus into the city to be crucified.

Monday was a 2 classes in a row - morning and afternoon for the same subject. In the afternoon, Mr Leighton came and class had to be delayed and movie cut short. Then evening went for English class and things went quite well except that I was being fed to the mosquitoes at the lecturer's place.

Tuesday, morning was at one secondary school to promote the ADP and afternoon was spent in the office waiting and waiting for articles to be translated. But time wasn't wasted, I managed to get some English done. In fact, I skipped dinner just to wait for the email to come so that layout could be done for the press.. and once it came and was done, rushed to college for the evening ADP preview. About 15 came to listen, one of who will be joining the new intake in May!

Wednesday, morning at my old school. Hmm...overall things were okay. Afternoon was spent in college for class, where we switched class because of some funny pizza smell..and the class actually started 45 minutes late. Hmm.. yet finished on time, since it was the last lecture class. After class, went with the rest and Mr Leighton for 'tea'. A really funny moment and destressing for a friend of mine, poor thing - was teased non-stop. Night was spent at lecturer's place for English again, but everyone left early after a whole day outside - tired - and couldn't concentrate on listening.

Thursday, Holy Thurday I call it. Full day classes at King's Centre. Had a great time with skeletons? Haha. I mean, the rest of them. Evening went for mass on the Last Supper. Got home and rested. It was late.

Friday, Good Friday. Also public holiday. I planned to do so many things for this day. BUT once I switched on my laptop.. the next moment it couldn't load the menu bar and icons. There was nothing else on the screen except my desktop picture. And it stayed that way for 5 minutes which caused some..curiosity. Thought it would be some loading problem, so switched it off and on again, and this time it took 10 minutes yet same result. Got very curious then, and asked dad. Nothing much could be done except waited for it to finish loading (perhaps in half an hour? dad said so). But it remained that way and I felt that something must be terribly wrong. That night after Good Friday service, sent the laptop to check..and guy said windows problem..and .. many more details of which I would prefer not to list. My heart broke. So much for Jesus' death. Sacrifice.

Saturday, Easter Vigil! The time where two candidates of mine would be baptised. The whole experience was amazing.. I will write about it more in another post. Morning, though was spent at 10th mile on the IYCS discussions..and received SO MANY annoying phone calls. Well, I'll write about them another day too, if I ever feel like writing. :)

And today, Sunday. I don't know how I feel. My mind was whole time on my laptop. The documents. The files. The important notes. The half-finished works.. The effort put in to have those files.. One friend told me, "Your laptop died on Good Friday, pray that it will resurrect just as Jesus did on Sunday." I was..hoping. But no phone calls from the guy..means no resurrection. *sob*

Until then, I just hope for the best. Whatever the result will be, whether or not my documents can be retrieved, there's a good reason for it. Losing it means I'll gain something better in future.

To all who celebrate Easter, or not,

HAPPY EASTER!

What's been going on...

So much for work! Haha. Well things were supposed to be better but they never turned out okay anyway. And I expected that. BUT things do happen for reasons, and they are good, sometimes.

Mr Leighton's here (the American Degree Program Malaysia Coordinator from Upper Iowa University, USA) for the second visit to our SEGi ADP. Well, I think he will be bringing back some pretty good news about the growth of ADP in Kuching, Sarawak. More students, more smiles, more laughter, and most of all, more experiences among students.

The first time when he came with the Vice President of UIU Dr DeWayne Frazier, man... the class was small, and there wasn't much to really talk about except laugh at Manglish. I personally witnessed the growth in our class. English improving, confidence building up, everything about studies.. you name it, we have it.

I felt myself coming out of the hole too. I felt honored to be on the same plane as others, though there are age and of course experience differences. Some have eaten more salt than I had, but everyone has their own life story and different amount of salt taken during their days.

But in all these 'growing' things, I felt one part of me that had difficulty budding a new flower. I suppose it's the community I was brought up in, that has to take the 'blame'. But I'm trying to bud. And I'm trying hard. I just need time, I hope. And some water and sunshine. Not more soil, not more fertilizer.

Well, the flower's blooming! Soon. Haha. Till then, what's been going on with you? :)


Word of the Day:
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

FREE American Degree Program Preview

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on

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Mr. Leighton Buntain, from Upper Iowa University, USA will conduct a preview as follows:

Date: 7 April 2009 (Tuesday)

Time: 7:30 p.m.

Venue: SEGi College Sarawak

Speaker: Mr. Leighton Buntain of Upper Iowa University, USA

RM2000 vouchers are up for grabs!

Please call 082-252566 to book your seat. We look forward to seeing you there!

Skidded

This happened quite a few days ago. Had not the guts to say it out then but today seems 'okay' to say..so here it goes.

The rain stopped. The roads were slippery. Rushed for green light at traffic. Then suddenly turned yellow so I have this tendency to slow down at yellow. Unfortunately I was just picking up speed then hesitated, then.. finally decided to stop. And hit the emergency brakes.

No cars beside me, just far behind. And the car turned 45 degrees left, and 90 degrees right after I counter-turned the wheel, and back 45 degrees to be straight again. And I stopped right on time before the line.

It wasn't fun.

I didn't know what happened until my friend in the car said, "You know what happened just now?"

"I think I do," I said.

"Your car just skidded."

"Owh..." After a while, "I did?"

Apparently I wasn't aware of anything. I just ..didn't know. After 5 minutes then it came to me that the car skidded and I could have gotten both of us crashed. (Is it just me..that I'm rather slow in such things?)

Thank God no cars around, and thank God I was calm? If I had panicked, ..you tell me what could have happened.

I won't be here to write this even.

So..don't rush for traffic lights when it's after a rainy pour. I was fortunate this time, but might not be so next time. Play safe.

A Diary?

I was talking to this friend of mine. We talked and talked and practically can talk from pure seriousness to kek-si-lang lameness. Then there's this time when he said I have so many ideas and thoughts and that I should consider writing a diary to keep my thoughts so as not to forget them. (Deteriorating memory)

Then I thought, when I was young, I have had written diaries. Piling up in my drawer. But somehow all were left aside soon after work started piling up instead. And there they were, up to today.

What's a diary for anyway? Except for a stapled pile of (coloured flowery) papers, and hard glittery covers.. Well, mine are mostly of those kinds since friends gave them to me as birthday presents. I have so many diaries, I've written in almost half of them - but why?

I always thought diaries are meant to be written with happy thoughts, sad feelings, angry moments, despair, anything. But when I flipped back my past diaries, I realised.. I'm growing. I'm no more that 7-year-old kid in primary school who used to get picked at by bigger ones. I'm no more that 12-year-old kid who can't play the piano. (Though I still can't, haha!) And I'm no more that sweet 16 person who had the most salt in her life that year. Hmm...

Writing into a diary certainly makes you reflect on your past. But it does not serve the purpose to remind you to do the same mistakes you've made before. It tells you to do better that how you've done, so life can be happier and more meaningful.

I suppose now I won't go back to writing using ink on my stack of papers, instead it will be virtual writings whenever I feel like it.

So friend, no matter how stupid or silly, I'm still going to filter my stories! Haha!

A Pity Indeed

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Nice phrase aye? Yea, I try to obey this rule yet at times, you obey it but get used for the wrong intention. And for this you suffer.

But if you don't obey it, you get a worse impression. And for that, you suffer more.

So.. best to obey?

Pity.